


Safe in your arms

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Familial Angst, Internal homophobia, M/M, Self-Discovery, aki works in the sex crimes unit, also, and even more also, and implied noncon, both very briefly - Freeform, but like, for later, it's there for two chapters, kinda mature the first two chapters, mentions of abuse, minor homophobia, not porn but implied porn, other characters and ships to be added, this is going to be angst, tsukki and aki's parents are dead, undercover cop!akiteru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6603553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex crimes worker Tsukishima Akiteru is called back from an undercover case after a car accident kills his parents and he has to care for his brother, Kei. He can't, however, forget a one Yamaguchi Tadashi, whom he'd taken care of on his case. He saves Tadashi, and takes the orphan in. </p><p>As Tadashi and Kei go trough school together, they battle their feelings and their pasts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on this (http://basicallyiwriteshit.tumblr.com/tagged/undercover-cop%21-aki) post I made on my writing blog a while back.

“Move his hand-- make it look like he’s teasing his nipple.” Tsukishima Akiteru fights back a shudder as he lightly plucks the boy’s hand from his chest and positions his fingers to lightly squeeze pink buds, and looks to Nishimura-san for approval before he snaps a few pictures. When he’s done, he looks to Nishimura, who looks thoughtfully at the brunet on the stripped bed in front of them. “I think my clients want another video of Freckles soon.” 

“S- Sir, I think people are getting suspicious about Ta-- Freckles’ videos. I think they know he doesn’t actually have anyone fucking him...I think it’s best if--”

“You’re exactly right! Which is why I’m having Hasekura moved into his room for the weekend, while we film. He’ll be Freckle-kun’s partner. Isn’t that right, Hasekura-kun?” Nishimura-san pats the naked boy on the bed on the chest, and he groans, rolling away sluggishly from the touch. Nishimura-san laughs heartily, and Akiteru has to fight a frown. “You think you could watch them in-between takes?” 

Akiteru bows faux-graciously and nods. “O- Of course, Nishimura-senpai!”

“Great!” Nishimura-san pats Akiteru on the back and he straightens, disgusted. “Be here this friday! Bring an overnight bag.” 

Akiteru doesn’t mention it’s supposed to be his weekend off, and only nods as he’s given another command and he does as told, snapping pictures diligently.

This has to be one of the worst cases Akiteru’s had to work. He’s seen rapists, he’s seen pimps, but  _ this-- _ this is something he’s never expected to go through.

Friday night comes far too early for Akiteru’s liking. Before he knows it, he’s filming as Nishimura-san gives him commands, fighting back tears as Hasekura is lifted over and pounded into Freckles over and over again. This is much worse than watching Tadashi being bounced on the bed to give off the illusion of being fucked. This time he really is being touched, really being violated -- more than he already is -- and it makes him sick.

“Alright! Let’s take a break, everyone,” Nishimura’s voice booms, and Akiteru jumps, almost dropping his camera. The rest of the small film crew disbands, but Akiteru stays, and soon it’s silent, aside from the soft groans coming from the boys on the bed. He kneels down at the side of the bed, eyes staring sadly down at the two boys lying naked in the bed. He wants to tell them it’ll all be over soon, but he can’t. 

A soft groan draws Akiteru from his thoughts, and his head snaps up, focusing on Freckles, whose eyes are now open. 

“Hello...Please don’t panic. You’re in a battered wives home, the lovely ladies here have taken you in-- are you ok?” Akiteru says the words that have been drilled into his head since he started working undercover with Nishimura, his voice soft. 

“I...What happened?..”

“You had a nasty hit to the head, a car hit you. Do you remember who you are?” Freckles tries to sit up, but his limbs are weak, and he just collapses back onto the bed. Akiteru prepares a syringe of the sedatives he’s on in secret, hands shaking. “Where were you headed?” 

“Anywhere but home,” Freckles mumbles, his words slurring sleepily, “M’ dad beats me, my mom too, I h- had to get out of there…” 

Akiteru feels pain twinge in his chest. He hears Nishimura and the rest of the crew coming up the stairs, and panic rises in his chest. Quickly, while Freckles can’t comprehend anything, he puts a needle in the syringe and jabs it into his neck, dosing him with more than enough sedative to knock him out for a while.

“Remember me, ok? Next time you’re awake, I’ll be here.” 

And he is. After the long filming, Akiteru picks up more hours. He spends as much time as possible with freckles, and tries to get more out of him while he’s conscious. No one knows about his talks with Freckles -- everyone thinks he’s completely comatose, if they were to know he was responsive, Akiteru doesn’t want to know what might happen -- and he’d like to keep it that way. 

“Oi! Nanase, phone call.” Akiteru jumps at the use of his fake name, and scrambles up, promising an unconscious Freckles he’ll return in a minute. One of his co workers hands him his cell phone with a blank look, and he holds it to his ear as he steps out of the house to take the call privately. 

“Hello?” 

“Akiteru.” 

Akiteru’s eyes widen. “Why are you calling me here?! What if my boss--”

“Akiteru. I-- I just got a call…” Shimada Makoto’s voice is sad, and it stops Akiteru’s worrying immediately. 

“...Sir?..” 

“I just got a call from the local hospital about your parents.” Akiteru’s heart stops. “I had to lie to the hospital about where you were, and I said I’d call you, since you probably don’t want to hear this from some officials, but-- th-- they were in a car accident, A really bad one…” 

“An-- An accident..?” Akiteru parrots. His heart beats in his chest, too fast to be normal. “But they’re-- they’re ok, right?..”

Makoto sucks in a breath, and Akiteru knows he’s fighting back tears. “I’m sorry, Akiteru. They died on the operating table.”

Akiteru’s breath leaves him. 

“...Akiter--”

“I’m coming home.” 

“Of course."

“Is-- Is Kei ok?” 

“He’s staying with me until you can get back.” Akiteru lets out a sigh of relief. Thank god Kei’s in good hands. “I’ll hand the case off to--”

“No!” The word leaves Akiteru’s mouth before he can catch it. “No. I want to work it still, I-- I can do it from there still, I can coordinate everything, I can be inside information, please, this is  _ still my case. _ ”

Makoto sounds reluctant. “A-- Are you sure?.. I know it’s been a stressful--”

“Yes. Now, I’ve gotta go. Expect me in town sometime tomorrow.”

“Please, Akiteru, don’t rush yourse--” Akiteru isn’t listening, though, and he hangs up, locking his phone as he stalks back into the house, looking for Nishimura. He finds him directing a photoshoot with one of the other boys, and steps hesitantly up. 

“Nishimura-san.”

“Ah! Nanase, to what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“S-- Sir, it appears that some family issues have come up, and I was-- I was wondering if it was possible for me to...get some time off?..” 

Nishimura looks at him blankly a moment, before laughing and clapping him on the back. “Of course! Of course! Take all the time you need-- though, I  _ will _ miss your camerawork.” 

Akiteru smiles nervously at his words. “Th- Thank you, sir…”

“No worries! I’m not a monster, after all! Now go, be with your family,” Nishimura pushes him lightly toward the door, smiling all the way, and Akiteru laughs nervously the whole way. As he’s heading back to the front door, he passes Freckles’ room, and prays he can save him soon. 

If only it were that easy. 


	2. Chapter 2

The funeral is a relatively small one. Both of their parents were only children, and were relatively private people. Only a few work friends and great aunts and uncles were there, and it’s the first time in years that Akiteru’s seen Kei cry. Kei keeps himself locked in his bedroom, his last year of middle school spent wasting away alone. Akiteru...Akiteru, he tries. He tries really hard to get Kei to open up to him, but it just doesn’t work. 

“Kei! Dinner!” When Akiteru is met with silence, he sighs, and walks to the stairs, calling up, “Kei! Come on!  _ Dinner _ !” 

Tonight’s the night. Tonight’s the night he ends Nishimura’s operations, and if he doesn’t get Kei fed and into bed soon, he’ll be  _ late to his own raid _ . 

He’s met with silence again, and he’s about to go up the stairs when Kei finally comes around the corner, thundering lowly down the stairs. He glares at Akiteru, who follows him into the kitchen. Before he can tell Kei to sit down, he’s gone, in his room already, and the house is silent once more. 

It’s long past dark when Akiteru finally sees Kei’s lights click off from under the doorway, and he’s quick to make his silent (well, mostly) escape to his car. 

The local sex crimes investigations office is a far cry different from the atmosphere at home, bustling with activity and loud voices, laughter at menial office jokes, meant to lighten the mood. He meets Makoto, his section chief, in the conference room with a handful of Special Assault Team members, and the meeting starts, with him as their inside source. It’s strange, being the one everyone comes to for advice, but his nerves for later in the night keep him going.

“Nishimura is out on his annual monthly retreat this weekend, so it’s likely we won’t have to deal with any of his men, but it’s still possible, so keep an eye out.” Makoto’s voice booms through the quiet room, and the agents nod, solemn. “And remember: our main priority is the safety of these kids. They might be scared, if they’re awake at all, and might lash out. Just let them know you’re there to help them, don’t do anything rash.” 

“Yes, sir!” 

  
  
  


Akiteru’s first instinct when they pound into the large, secluded house holding the boys is to search for Freckles. The boy with the abusive parents, the boy with a tiny body, the most  _ vulnerable _ of them all, he  _ has _ to see him. There’s people thundering all around him, but he knows the route to his room like the back of his hand -- he was in there more than anyone, after all -- and before he knows it he’s clearing the room, one hand on his gun, the other reaching for the lightswitch. There’s three new boys in the room; ones he’s never seen before. Each on a thin little cot, lined up against the wall, but Akiteru’s eyes aren’t focused on them, but on Freckles. 

“C-- Clear!” He yells with a shaking voice, though he’s sure no one can hear him over their own yelling. “I’ve got four more in here!” 

“Six in here!” 

“Two here!” 

“Five!” 

“Three in here!” 

“Ten in the basement.” Comes a low voice from Akiteru’s radio, and he shudders; he hadn’t known there was a basement. “Looks like this was where they kept the ones that died...They’re-- They’re all…” 

Dead. Ten kids,  _ dead _ . Seventeen more alive, sickly and thin, upstairs. Akiteru feels sick to his stomach. 

“Tsukishima, that’s all the rooms cleared-- we have the vans ready for the kids. Is there anyone who can walk?..” 

Akiteru snaps out of his own thoughts and scans his eyes over the room, though he already knows the answer. “No. Let’s get ‘em down there.” 

 

 

“--Yamaguchi Tadashi, age fifteen. Orphan; he’s never been reported missing, but he still shows up in records until two years ago. Every family member we contact says they don’t want him, his ‘rents died in a car accident a year or two ago, so he’s technically in government care--”

“I want to take him in.” Akiteru’s voice cuts Makoto’s identification off, and he should probably feel bad, but he’s too busy staring at the picture in from of him, of freckles and tan skin, a smile that’s obviously forced on his lips. He figures it’s a school photo. 

“...Don’t you already have a kid at home?” Tanaka-san asks, and Akiteru frowns at him. 

“Yes, but--”

“Man, don’t stress yourself any more than you are, you need--”

“I promised him I’d be there when he woke up. I promised him I’d keep him safe.  _ Please _ .” Akiteru bows deeply. “I know other members of the office are taking kids home with them; let me be Tadashi’s caretaker.”

“Akiteru, you’re only twen--” 

“Alright.”

The room goes silent, the members of Akiteru’s team looking at their section chief in shock. Akiteru’s face breaks into a grin. He straightens from his bow, and Makoto smiles wearily at him. 

“You go,” Makoto whispers, and Akiteru’s eyes widen. “It’s late, you should get Tadashi to a real bed before the drugs wear all the way off…”

“Are you sure?” Makoto nods. “Thank you, sir.”

Akiteru bows again, and scurries out of the room, moving to the main office where cots scatter the room, and towards Freckles’ -- Tadashi’s -- cot. Looking at Tadashi’s hair fanned out over the white sheets, he finds a smile playing on his face. “Time to go home, Tadashi.” 

_ I hope you’ll be happy there.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is fluffier, for sure.


	3. Chapter 3

“Who the hell is this?” Akiteru jumps when the living room light turns on, almost dropping Tadashi. Kei, in the doorway of the living room, glares at the limp body in Akiteru’s arms. “You kidnapped someone. Didn’t you?”

Akiteru sputters. “I-- I did not!” 

“You leave in the dead of night, and come back with a teenage boy at...three am, and you’re saying you  _ haven’t _ kidnapped him.”

“Yes.” 

“Then who the hell is this? And why is he unconscious?” 

“Watch your language,” Akiteru scolds, and Kei frowns. “And you should have more faith in your brother!”

“Pardon me,” Kei rolls his eyes. “Who the  _ fuck _ is this?”

Akiteru shakes his head, annoyed. 

“Akiteru,  _ seriously _ ,” 

“What?”

“ _ Who is this _ ?”

Akiteru looks from Tadashi, to Kei, to Tadashi again. Tadashi stirs in his arms. “He’s--” He can’t tell Kei who he really is. “This is Yamaguchi Tadashi! He’s a kid I fostered off in Tokyo; his parents hit him around, and he floated around for a while, and I adopted him. The paperwork was just finished, and his current foster parents couldn’t get any time off to bring him to me until now. He’s a bit tired from the car ride, so…” 

“You adopted him.” 

“Yes?..”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“No…”

“Why?”

Kei blows air out of his mouth, trying to feign innocence, his mind racing. “It…completely slipped my mind.” 

“It slipped your mind.” 

“Yes. That’s what I’m going with.” 

“And I suppose you want him to sleep in...my room, I suppose?”

“I was hoping, yes.”

Kei sighs. “Of course you did.” 

Akiteru flinches. He knows Kei is pissed. He can see him fuming. “Kei, I’m sorry, I completely forgot--”

“Forgot.” Kei scoffs. “Of course you did.”

“Please, Kei, don’t be mad…” 

Kei sighs, his shoulders sagging, and he yawns. “I’ll get the futon…” 

“Thank you, Kei,” Akiteru breathes, relaxing, and fixes his hold on Tadashi. 

“Don’t think this is over.” 

“Of course not!” Akiteru rushes, and Kei turns on his heel, stalking off to the hall closet to grab the extra futon. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.” 

Kei only scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure we will.”

“I promise!” 

“Whatever.”

They work in silence, Kei setting up the bed, Akiteru laying Tadashi down. Tadashi stirs sleepily, but does not wake. Everything is calm, but the mood holds an air of hostility that suffocates Akiteru. He feels guilt at throwing Kei into this all, and wishes he’d thought this all through. Maybe Tadashi wouldn’t want to stay with his either; with all he’s been through all Akiteru’s done to help with it, he wouldn’t blame him. But right now, they’re all tired. Kei has school in the morning. He has work (though he’ll probably call in sick to get some of Tadashi’s necessities). 

So Akiteru leaves the two boys to sleep, going to his own bedroom, but he can’t sleep. His mind drifts to Tadashi and Kei, and how their living arrangement (which Kei was, finally, getting used to after three months) would change drastically. Kei’s last week of middle school is soon, and then it’s high school entrance exams, and he still needs to register Tadashi and get him caught up with his peers…

There’s a lot of work to do, and Akiteru fears he won’t be able to do it all alone. 

He thinks of calling Makoto -- telling him he’d made a mistake, that he couldn’t handle it all -- but he feels this urge to care for Tadashi, and love him, and make sure he was loved. He knew the foster care system, and knew how  _ hard _ it was, especially for teenaged boys, to find a good home, maybe even parents to adopt him. Suddenly he feels a pang in his chest, remembering all the other orphaned boys that were in the house, and he wishes he could take all of them in, but he doesn’t think his fragile state of mind could handle it.

_ But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… _ Akiteru shakes his head, shifting in bed the nth time in the last minute. He thinks of Tadashi, and how he’ll have to be adjusted into normal life slowly, and his worries subside for a moment. He plans for the next day, his calmer thoughts having him nodding off in just minutes. 

 

 

Kei, in his -- and, apparently, Tadashi’s -- bedroom, collapses onto his bed. The night is near over, the morning creeping in, and he’s exhausted. He’d heard Akiteru leave earlier in the night and had waited up for him, only for this whole fiasco to happen with this Tadashi kid--

Speaking of Tadashi. The dark haired boy stirs in his sleep across from him, but doesn’t wake. Several whimpers leave his mouth, and Kei can’t help but wonder what his life was like before he came here. Living in a foster home for months, neither of your parents wanting you...It must have been rough. But then Kei thinks how lame it must be for him to be thinking about these things and stops. The night’s events are catching up with him, but he keeps staring at the boy across the room from him.

Kei’s lamp is on, illuminating the room just enough for him to see the freckles dotting Tadashi’s face, the slight line of drool coming from his mouth as he breathes deeply; _ in, out, in, out… _

The sight is calm, the sound lulling Kei to sleep faster than any lullaby his mother’s ever sang to him. 


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of shrill screaming awakens Kei not even a half an hour after he falls asleep, and he stifles a groan in his pillow. Of  _ course _ his new roommate is going to be prone to nightmares. Kei buries his head farther into his pillows, the shrieking hardly being muted at all. Kei feels himself growing irritated, and it about to turn over and just yell at the kid to  _ go the fuck back to bed _ when he hears the first sob. It’s choked, muffled by a hand over a mouth, probably, and sounds so  _ pained _ that Kei feels genuinely  _ bad _ for the kid. He knows that he can’t leave Tadashi crying, he has at least a little sense of character, and he’s about to get up and comfort him when his plans are interrupted once again by the door creaking open. 

“Tadashi?..” The sobs stop when Akiteru whispers Tadashi’s name into the semi-quiet of the bedroom. Kei slams his eyes shut, pretending to sleep, and listens as Akiteru kneels down beside Tadashi’s makeshift bed. “Tadashi-kun, do you remember me?..” 

Tadashi whimpers, sniffling. “I’m Akiteru-kun, from the battered wives home...Do you remember anything?..” 

A soft voice replies, shaking with tears, “I-- I remember...I remember you…” 

Kei feels his heart stop. Tadashi’s voice is quiet, soft,  _ cute _ . He hears Akiteru chuckle. 

“Good. Good.”

“O- Only b- briefly, though…” 

“That’s ok; the home you were staying in was found by one of the ladies’ ex husbands, so we had to transfer you.” Akiteru says, his explanation far from the one he’d given Kei, and Kei feels annoyance bubble up in his chest; why couldn’t Akiteru tell the truth, just once? “You’re healthy enough to be off the drugs sedating you, now, but we’re going to have to wean you off so you don’t go into shock, ok?”

“O- Of course…”

“You’ll be able to start school again next spring.” 

Tadashi’s voice perks up considerably, though it’s still watery. “Really?” 

“Mhm! And we’ve found a place for you to stay, too! You’ll have a loving family, though, it is quite small… I hope you don’t mind.” 

“I-- I won’t get hit anymore?..” 

Akiteru clucks his tongue. “Of course not. You’re safe here.” 

“I- I...am?..”

“I promise you, you’re safe.” Akiteru says. “Stay with us, and I’ll do my all to protect you.” 

Kei listens to Akiteru’s words and stifles a scoff. He can’t protect Tadashi  _ all the time _ . And there’s no way in _ hell  _ he’s helping Akiteru; this is Akiteru’s mess. 

“I’ll leave you to rest. We’ll talk in the morning, ok? You’re safe here with Kei.” 

Akiteru’s voice, soft and soothing, is the last thing Kei hears as he drifts off to sleep. 

  
  
  


Yamaguchi Tadashi is terrified. It’s dark, and he’s in a strange place, and the last thing he remembers is leaving his home in the middle of the night, and then the battered woman’s home that took him in and cared for his wounds. He remembers a kind face, and soft words, promising to be there when he woke up. He remembers that the next time he did, he wasn’t there, no one was there, save for a couple of other injured boys in the room with him (those women were so nice).  

He’s screaming before he can even process the situation. He calls out to no one, just begging, pleading,  _ where am I? Am I dead? Please, I’m not ready to die. Help me! _ Tears are falling before he knows it, and he thinks he hears shuffling from the other side of the room, but then the door to the bedroom is opening and light shines in through the doorway. A figure enters and rushes to him, kneeling at the side of his bed. 

The light shifts, and he sees the kind face that promised to be there for him. “Tadashi?..” Tadashi freezes, his sniffling stopping. He doesn’t remember telling him his name, but he doesn’t remember much of what’s happened since his accident.  “Tadashi-kun, do you remember me?..” 

A whimper leaves Tadashi’s mouth, involuntarily, and he sniffles. He nods, silently, afraid his voice would betray him. “I’m Akiteru-kun, from the battered wives home...Do you remember anything?..” 

He nods again, and whispers, “I-- I remember...I remember you…” 

“Good. Good.” Akiteru-kun sounds relieved. 

“O- Only b- briefly, though…” 

“That’s ok; the home you were staying in was found by one of the ladies’ ex husbands, so we had to transfer you.” Akiteru-kun says, and Tadashi feels worry fill his chest; were the ladies ok? Akiteru-kun continues. “You’re healthy enough to be off the drugs sedating you, now, but we’re going to have to wean you off so you don’t go into shock, ok?” 

“O- Of course…” He doesn’t understand, but figures it’s best to just agree; that’s what he always did at home. 

“You’ll be able to start school again next spring.” 

Tadashi’s chest lightens; he feels joy overtake the remaining fear. He sniffles, and asks, “Really?”

“Mhm! And we’ve found a place for you to stay, too! You’ll have a loving family, though, it is quite small… I hope you don’t mind.” 

“I-- I won’t get hit anymore?..”

Akiteru-kun clucks his tongue, and Tadashi flinches. He thinks he’s said something wrong. “Of course not. You’re safe here.”

“I- I...am?.."

“I promise you, you’re safe.” Akiteru-kun says, and Tadashi feels light again. “Stay with us, and I’ll do my all to protect you.” 

Tadashi feels more tears welling up, and Akiteru-kun smiles sadly at him. 

“I’ll leave you to rest. We’ll talk in the morning, ok? You’re safe here with Kei.” Tadashi’s eyes fall to the bed across the room, illuminated by the hall light, and Akiteru pats his hand gently. 

Tadashi watches as Akiteru-kun leaves, the door shutting out the light from the hall, and before he knows it, he’s fast asleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mixed up the last two chapters but I fixed it now sooo...

Four weeks. Four weeks Kei’s been rooming with Tadashi -- a whole month -- and he’s been out of it since the start; Akiteru’s been weaning him off the sedatives he’d been on (he was in an accident a while back! Don’t worry!), and so the smaller boy is usually out of it, or half out of it. There are homework packets to get Tadashi caught up with Kei stacked up by his bed, and when Tadashi is conscious, he’s working on them. He often wakes up screaming, and Kei pretends to sleep, as per usual. Akiteru deals with him. 

Life isn’t actually all that bad with Tadashi around; even if Kei doesn’t actively seek out his companionship, his presence in the bed across the room is nice. 

Kei thinks back to his high school entrance exams, and his top choice, the same place his brother went to. He knows Tadashi is in his grade, and that when he gets his makeup work in that he’ll be in his class. But he thinks maybe he’s smart enough to be in his class; though he  _ is _ so far behind…

Kei’s thoughts are interrupted by the front door opening. “Nii-san, you’re home early.” 

“Yeah, uh…” Akiteru enters, looking exhausted, and Makoto enters behind him. “I am.”

Makoto deadpans, “He fainted, in the middle of a case. He’s been working himself to the bone.” 

Kei stares blankly at his brother’s old boss and close friend. “...Case?.. Akiteru quit sex crimes a long time ago, though.” 

He hadn’t, though, and they all know it. Kei’s known it for a while, but he’d been trying to ignore it. Coming home late with new bruises, sneaking off and coming home in the middle of the night with a black eye…

Kei scoffs. He should have known. “Whatever.” 

Akiteru smiles, looking guilty. “I know mom and dad hated it, but I couldn’t live with myself knowing there were people being taken advantage of.” 

Makoto claps Akiteru on the back. “He’s been doing a lot of overtime, and apparently doesn’t know how to  _ take care of himself _ .” He glares at Akiteru, smiling jokingly, and softly pushes him on the couch. When he turns, he sees the  _ look _ Kei and Akiteru are directing him and stiffens. “I’ll just... let you guy talk…”

Makoto makes his way upstairs, and Kei stares at the back of his head as he goes, probably to say hi to Tadashi. Kei crosses his arms, and glares at his brother. “So. Care to explain?” 

Akiteru deflates. “I’m sorry, Kei, I know--”

“You knew mom and dad hated your job, so you move out and lie to them, and keep working the same job, getting the same injuries, with the same danger factor as before.” Kei shrugs. “I get that. But  _ why _ ,” Kei enthuses, “Didn’t you think to tell your brother? You know, the one you used to tell everything to, even if it would get you in trouble?”

“I…” Akiteru looks away, guilty. “I thought you would tell them, and...I care about this job, Kei, I care more than you could imagine.”

“Really?” Kei scoffs. 

“Kei, you’ll understand it when you’re older…” 

Kei rolls his eyes and uncrosses his arms; a hand lifts onto his waist. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind. “And where did we really get Tadashi?” Akiteru is silent. Kei sighs. “Whatever. I’m not mad at you or anything. Just disappointed.” Akiteru scrambles for words, and Kei has to hide a smirk. He’s always wanted to say that. “Seriously, though, relax. Rest here, and I’ll make tea, or whatever you do for sick people…” 

Akiteru perks up at the mention of tea, but then his mood changes again and his shoulders fall. “I can’t, I need to make sure Tadashi--”

“I’ll check on him.”

“I need to get him his final dose of--”

“I can do it.” 

“Kei, you don’t--” 

“I know exactly what to do, nii-san. You lay down.” 

“But his schoolwork--!”

“He was almost finished with his final test packet when I came down here.” 

“But--”

“ _ Rest _ , for  _ god sake,” _ Kei groans, pushing Akiteru back on the bed, and going to the kitchen to start a pot of tea on the stove before making his way up the steps, to his -- and Tadashi’s -- bedroom. He reaches for the knob, but the door opens before he can touch it, and Makoto steps out. He shuts the door behind him, and tries at conversation. 

“He’s just finishing up his homework packets; I’m taking the last of them over to the Karasuno for Akiteru. I hear you got his results back for his entrance exams?” 

“Yes.” Kei says shortly. 

“He got into Karasuno as well, right?”

“Yes. Class four, same as I.” 

“That’s good! I’m sure he needs as much help as he can get, it’s good you’ll be there for him.”

“Yes, it is.” Kei can’t help but think that Tadashi doesn’t  _ need _ his help. He’s a strong kid. In a few months, he’ll be good as new. “Now, I promised my brother I’d check on him--” 

“Of course,” Makoto smiles, “I’ll just-- I’ll...go…” 

“Alright.” Makoto awkwardly side-steps away, and Kei sighs, rolling his eyes. He opens the door and enters, eyes falling to Tadashi in an almost unconscious way. He’s on his bed, eyes closed, and he doesn’t even crack them open when Kei enters. Kei coughs, finally gaining Tadashi’s attention. Tadashi startles and sits up, his wide eyes staring at him. 

“H- Hi, Tsukki.” Kei cringes at the nickname Tadashi gave him earlier in the month, in one of his drugged dazes. 

“Hey,” He says, kneeling down next to the bed. “Akiteru’s a bit tired, so I came to check on you.” 

“O- Oh, ok...” Tadashi smiles shyly. “I’ve just--”

“Finished the last of your homework. Shimada-san told me.” Tadashi’s mouth falls shut. Kei pulls the final syringe from the pack he’d grabbed from the bathroom, preparing the needle as he’d seen Akiteru do before. “School’s going to start soon.” 

“Yes, it is,” Tadashi says. “I’m nervous.” 

Kei holds out a hand for Tadashi’s arm, which he gives with a grimace. “Don’t be.” 

He wipes Tadashi’s forearm down with an antiseptic wipe. Tadashi cringes when Kei pushes the needle into his skin, emptying the syringe, and Kei frowns. Tadashi clears his throat, and smiles. “At least you’ll be there with me, right?” 

“Right…” Kei’s next words leave his mouth without permission, and he curses himself internally for being a dick. “Just, don’t expect me to be your best friend, alright?” 

 

 

 

The words ring through Tadashi’s ears as he’s lain back down, and Kei stands rushedly. Tadashi blinks, and when he opens his eyes, Kei is gone. He feels heavy, but that’s normal; the sedatives always make him sleepy, his limbs heavy, even with the lowered doses Akiteru gives him. As he drifts off, however, he feels nothing but pain in his chest.

_ “Just, don’t expect me to be your best friend, alright?” _ He hadn’t expected anything different. What he  _ hadn’t _ expected was Kei to actually  _ say _ it. 

The pain is overtaken, however, by a familiar blackness enveloping him, and he’s overtaken by warmth, and that blackness wraps him up like a blanket. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Kei! You’ll be late!” Tadashi smiles up at Akiteru as he puts a plate down in front of him.

In the weeks that follows his final dose, he’s been getting used to his legs again. He’s unfamiliar with any room but Kei’s and his own, but he’s getting there. The kitchen is a nice place to start, he thinks. 

“Kei!”

“I’m  _ right here _ .” Comes an angry-sounding growl from the doorway, and Tadashi jumps, startled. He’s not used to the silent way Kei moves yet. “Happy?” 

“Yes!” Akiteru looks at Kei standing in the doorway, and whistles when he sees him. “Geez, Kei, you’re giving your older brother a run for his money! You look better than me in the uniform…”

Tadashi giggles, his laughter fading when Kei mutters a “shut up, Yamaguchi,” under his breath as he slides into his chair. 

“So, boys, ready for school today?” 

“No,” 

“Y- Yes!”

Akiteru laughs heartily. “It’s nice to hear! Eat up, you two.” Akiteru places a plate down for Kei and sits down in between the two boys, still laughing. “You’re both in class four, right?” 

“Yes.”

“And you’ll help Ta--”

“ _ Yes _ .” 

Akiteru’s mouth slams shut. Kei looks to his phone, and stands. 

“Already leaving?”

“Yeah. Yamaguchi, let’s go.” 

“Coming, Tsukki!” Tadashi scrambles up, fumbling with his bags and thanking Akiteru for the food as he follows Kei out. 

  
  
  


“Wait here, if you’re so insistent on not walking home on your own.” Tadashi slides against the wall in front of gym 1, exhausted from the day. He’d had a hard time, surrounded by so many people, and most of the day went by with a blur of syllabi and introductions (both from teachers and students), but throughout the day he’d stuck to Kei’s side. There were too many people trying to make friends on the first day. He would have an easier time the second day. 

He knows that the farther they progress into the school year he’ll have trouble with the curriculum, and that he’ll be needing help. Maybe he can find someone who can help him…

“Hey there, freckles.” Tadashi flinches at the nickname, one used by his old bullies, and it brings back bad memories. When he looks up, he sees a group of teenagers, probably second years, looming over him. “Where’s your glasses friend? He already get annoyed with you following him around?” 

The boys snicker. Tadashi bites his lip, and stutters out, “H- He’s in...in the gym… Signing up for volleyball.” 

The boys snicker, and close in on him. One of them speaks up. “So you just decided to sit out here and wait instead of going to your house like a normal person?”

“I-- I don’t...know my way home yet.” Tadashi looks down at his hands. “I just moved, I--”

The boys cackle, and one kicks at Tadashi’s knee. “Lame!” 

“You don’t know your way to your own house! Are you dumb?” 

“I-- I--” There’s shouting from the gym, approaching the doors, and the leader curses, turning and pushing his friends away. 

“We’ll be back!” One of them calls over his shoulder, and the leader smirks at him. Tadashi curls further in on himself against the wall, shuddering. He doesn’t want them to come back. 

The gym door opens, and two boys -- a tall, dark haired one and a shorter, lighter haired one -- are thrown out, protests leaving their mouths, but the captain -- he thinks -- just glares at them, and one of the other third years slams the doors shut. 

“Great! Now we can’t even play! Do you know how hard I studied only to get into _class_ _one_ just to play on this team?!” Tadashi cringes at the shorter boy’s tone, and tries to hide even more.

The taller one’s isn’t any better, angry-sounding and loud. “Well what about me?! Volleyball is my life, and--”

“You don’t think it’s mine?!” 

“Shut up! Let me talk--”

“No! It’s my turn, King-- Whah, hey, you, are you lost or something?!” Tadashi’s eyes widen when the shorter boy’s attention is suddenly on him. 

“M- Me?” He points to himself, looking over his shoulder for another person, maybe, but there’s no one. He looks back, and Shorty nods. 

“Yeah, you! Are you lost or somethin’? It happens to me all the time, and you’re just kinda sittin’ there, so I figured you got lost. It’s a big campus!” He giggles, and Tadashi smiles at him. The taller boy barks a “no it’s not, dumbass!” at him, but he ignores him as he smiles at Tadashi. 

“N- No, I’m not lost. Just w- waiting for a-- a friend.” Tadashi stands, making his way slowly over to the two boys. He holds out a hand as an afterthought, and adds, “I- I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi. It’s nice to meet you!”

The shorter of the two smiles dazzlingly at him. “Hinata Shoyou, class one! I play volleyball! Do you?” 

Tadashi laughs. “I don’t, sorry…”

Hinata frowns. “Well, you said you were waiting for a friend? Does he--”

“Yes.” Tsukishima’s voice startles Tadashi, it’s so sudden, and right behind him, and he whirls around quickly. Hinata squawks, and yells something like “you’re friends with Tsukishima?!”, but Tadashi only stares up at Kei, scared of the glare he sends the two boys as Kei slides his bag up farther on his shoulder. He sighs, and starts walking. “Come on, Yamaguchi.” 

Tadashi scrambles to follow him, waving at Hinata. “C- Coming, Tsukki!” 

“Sorry I took so long. Those two idiots caused a ruckus and I had to wait to hand in my forms…”

“I- It’s ok, Tsukki!” Kei pulls on his headphones, and they walk. “H- Hey, Tsukki?..” 

Kei sighs, and pulls off his headphones. “What?” “Who...Who was that tall guy? I only got Hinata-kun’s name, but I think I heard Hinata-kun call him ‘King’?.. Is that a nickname or something?..” 

Kei scoffs. “Figures you wouldn’t know. His name is Kageyama Tobio, aka, the King of the Court, a tyrannical leader that drove his team to hate him. It’s just my luck I’m stuck with him.” 

“He didn’t seem all that bed,” Tadashi says innocently, and Kei scoffs. “I mean, he was a bit mean-looking, and he was yelling at Hinata-kun when they got kicked out of the gym, but--”

“They’re both idiots.” And that’s all Kei says on the matter. 

 

Hinata and kageyama aren’t all that bad, Tadashi decides. In the first couple weeks Kei has volleyball practice, the two practice outside (they were barred from club activities because of a squabble that ended up knocking over the captain, he finds out, and scolds them lightly for being so immature, but he doesn’t step over his bounds), and he keeps them company. Sometimes he even tosses a ball for Kageyama to set, or sets a ball for Hinata to spike (he kind of likes playing with them, but he knows the real thing is different, and he doesn’t think he’d like to be around such a rowdy team, from what Kei’s told him), and they’re both eternally grateful. He has fun with them, and while they’re not the brightest -- both of their minds are only  _ volleyballvolleyballvolleyball _ \-- they’re nice to have around. He considers them to be friends. 

Then comes time for them to prove themselves in a match against Kei and two of their upperclassmen; they spend their mornings sleeping off early training sessions with one of their senpais, and the afternoons more energetic than usual, practicing volleyball and making plays and bickering with each other -- they hardly have time for him anymore. He’s ok with it, or so he says. People getting tired of him is a normal piece of his life. 

They win the match. He doesn’t even need to ask, not with the elated looks of their faces, and the slightly pissed look on Kei’s. They leave him to join practice with the others. He’s alone again.

“Well well well, look boys, it’s Freckles~” 

Tadashi’s eyes widen, and his head jerks up from reading his textbook. Three boys stand in a semicircle around him, grinning like goons, and he’s surprised he hadn’t seen their shadows covering the sun while he was reading.

“You’re still waiting for your friend, are you?” Their leader snickers, and the other boys do as well. Tadashi closes his book, and puts it in his bag. He doesn’t look up at them as he replies. 

“Y- Yes…”

“Know your way home yet?!” One of them -- he can’t tell which -- jeers, laughing, and he hears the others whack him on the back. Tadashi nods jerkily and the boys laugh. “Ah~ So you’re not such a simpleton afterall!”

Tadashi keeps his head down as he packs his bags, ready to go inside the school building and wait for practice to be over. 

“Oi, look at us when we talk to you,” The leader hauls Tadashi up and slams him against the wall. He gasps, his breath leaving him, and their leader laughs. “See? Now how hard is that?” 

The boys close in on him, and he whimpers. One of them throws a punch, and hits him in the gut. He feels sick. 

“S- Sto--” A blow hits his gut again, knocking the breath out of him yet again, and he feels lightheaded. He vaguely recognizes his head hitting the wall, and then everything's a blur. One second the boys are surrounding him, the next they’re cursing and running off, and a teacher is crouched in front of him, mouthing words he can’t hear and an indescribable sense of fear pulls him to his feet and leads him far, far away from the gym. 

  
  
  


Takeda Ittetsu is overjoyed when he makes his way to the first gym, but his joy is short lived when he sees a group of boys loitering around the side of the gym. He wonders where the boy that usually sits outside and does his homework is, but as he gets closer he realizes exactly where he is. 

He hears a stuttered plea, cut off by a punch to the gut, and his mouth moves without thinking. He yells, and the boys cover their faces, cursing, and run off. Immediately, he’s at the boy’s side, holding him in a sitting position. 

“Hey… Are you ok? Those boys hit you pretty h--” Takeda trails off when he sees the look of utter terror in the boy’s eyes. “--hard…” 

He reaches out a hand to probe at a bruise forming on his cheek, but he flinches, quiet whimper leaving his lips, and suddenly he’s on his feet, wide eyes staring at him. 

“Hey, you shouldn’t sta--” 

He’s gone before he can even finish his sentence.

  
  
  


“You’re too quiet.” Tadashi jumps, eyes darting to Kei. Usually, he looks annoyed as he recalls his day, because they were together most of the day, but today he looks concerned. “What happened?” 

Tadashi forces a smile, his mind racing. He can’t tell Kei about the boys-- he can’t be a burden. He’s already decided this. But what can he use as an excuse? 

“I, uh-- I just got a bad grade on an English quiz, is all… I-- I thought I was doing good…” 

Kei sighs, and his face softens. “We’ll study together tonight, ok?” 

  
Tadashi smiles brightly, thoughts of rough fists and hard blows out of his mind at the thought his new roommate was warming up to him. “Ok, Tsukki!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shouldn't be posting this bc I only have half of chapter seven done and that's it. But I was excited for this one, and also this was the longest chapter so far with nearing 2000 words!


	7. Chapter 7

Studying with Tadashi isn’t as tiring as Kei expected it to be; he’s a fast learner, when he wants to be. And his concentration face is pretty, too. 

Kei blanches at his own thoughts, and shakes his head clear. What the fuck? Tadashi is  _ not _ cute. 

“Tsukki? How do you pronounce this?..” 

Kei looks at the paper Tadashi holds out to him and his mind goes on autopilot, reciting the correct pronunciation for the word ( _ exquisite:  _ _ adjective: extremely beautiful and typically delicate _ ) for Tadashi. Tadashi nods, says the word to himself, and scribbles it down phonetically. Kei watches as he mouths the word once more, and moves on to the next. They have a test tomorrow, but Kei’s never liked studying. Besides, he gets good grades without studying. Tadashi needs help sometimes, however, and Kei is more than happy to oblige him. 

This is usually how studying with them goes. Kei lays on his bed, reading, and Tadashi sits at the foot, going through notes, just as they’ve been doing since school started; today, though, instead of reading, Kei peeks over his book at Tadashi as he mouths English to himself. He finds the way his mouth forms the words -- as he’d helped Tadashi pronounce earlier -- exquisite  ( adjective: extremely beautiful and typically delicate). His pouty, pink lips, and the way he bites his lip between problems. Tadashi’s brows furrow and he mouths a word around his pencil. He sighs, and looks up again. 

“Tsukki? I’m so close to this one, but I can’t seem to get it--” 

“Captivating.” Kei responds immediately, hardly looking at the paper. Adjective: capable of attracting and holding interest; charming. He almost finds himself saying  _ “Just like you,”  _ but keeps his mouth shut. He doesn’t understand why he thinks it. Tadashi smiles and thanks him, turning back and mouthing the word around his pencil. Writes it phonetically. Looks at the next word. Rinse, repeat. This time, Tadashi makes it a few words, and Kei’s finally given a good chance to look at him. Eventually, Tadashi turns to Kei and they lock eyes. Kei feels his face flush: he’s been caught. 

“...Tsukki? Is there something on my face?..”

“No, uh--” Kei searches his mind for something, anything to say, but comes up blank. “Just, uh--” 

Now, Kei is a firm nonbeliever, but he thanks every god there is when their door opens and Akiteru pops his head in. “Pizza, boys!”

Tadashi smiles and gets up, closing his books and heads to the door, going to the living room with Akiteru. Kei is slow to coming down the stairs, and by the time he reaches the living room Tadashi is already chewing at a piece of pepperoni, Akiteru plain cheese. 

“So, you boys have an English test monday?” 

“Yep!” Tadashi smiles a toothy grin between bite and chew, a small chunk of pepperoni poking out from his teeth. Kei grimaces, turning from the sight (because why does he think that’s cute, what the hell that’s  _ gross _ ). 

“It’s just review.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Akiteru puts his hands on his hips, pretending to push up glasses, his voice taking a deeper octave; he’s pretending to be their father, and he supposes it’s kind of funny. “If you know all the material, I expect you to get one hundred percent!” 

Tadashi giggles, a small snort escaping him, and Kei feels his heart stop in his chest. He coughs, and rolls his eyes at his brother. “I could get one hundred percent without you telling me.”

“Yeah,” Tadashi says, encouraging, but not in any way directed as an insult to Akiteru, like Kei’s words were. “Tsukki’s real smart!”

“Now he’ll just fail out of spite!” Akiteru faux-groans, laughing, and Tadashi joins, popping the last bit of his pizza into his mouth. He stands. 

“I gotta make sure I have all the material down, so I’ll be upstairs,” He rushes, still smiling and laughing softly, and Akiteru calls a farewell over his shoulder, his mouth full. Kei listens to the soft thuds of Tadashi’s feet on the wooden floor fade away, their bedroom door clicking open and shut again. Akiteru continues to eat next to him, and Kei hasn’t had a single slice yet. 

“So, Kei, how’s school?” The tone in Akiteru’s voice has changed, and Kei knows it. He just chooses to ignore it. 

“Fine.” 

“Kei…” Akiteru sighs. “You know what I mean: how’s school for  _ Tadashi _ ?” 

“Yes, I know. Fine. He’s getting good grades. I think he’s friends with some idiots on the volleyball team, he eats lunch with them sometimes. The other students are pleasant to him, as they are with any stranger.” Finally, Kei reaches for a slice, but Akiteru -- having not noticed Kei hadn’t eaten -- is already folding the pizza box up. The elder of the two stands, looking at least somewhat convinced. 

“And you’d tell me if there was any trouble, right?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Kei, this is serious!”

“And so am I. Try refrain from treating me like a kindergartener that needs constant reminder of my duties and maybe I would have a different tone.”  Kei reaches for the remote, flicking on the tv. 

“Always a smart ass,” Akiteru shakes his head, and turns into the kitchen. Kei flips through channels, not feeling like watching anything but also not wanting to go to his room, and Akiteru just shakes his head. 

He could have sworn he saw a bruise on Tadashi’s shoulder under his sleeve. 

  
  
  


It’s long past dark when Akiteru gets the call. He’d found a spot on the couch next to Kei a while after the younger fell asleep on it, mindlessly watching some crime show that was so  _ fake _ that he’s less startled when his cell rings on the table and more  _ relieved _ . He sees Makoto’s name and number on screen and stands, going to the kitchen to take the call. Kei shifts in his sleep on the couch, and mumbles something about sea monkeys. 

“Tsukishima,” He drones when he answers, and hears Makoto’s relieved sigh. 

“Akiteru, great, you’re awake. We’re gonna need you at the office a little early…” 

Akiteru sighs, and looks at the clock. One am. “How early?..”

“Um… Now?..”

Akiteru deadpans. “Now.”

“Yes.” 

“You do know how late it is, right?” 

“I do.”

“So..?”

Makoto sighs this time. “Fujioka-san is  _ here _ .”

Akiteru’s stomach drops. “He’s here? As in, like,  _ in Japan _ ? I thought he had a hideout in South Korea or something!” 

“He’s here for a few months to oversee one of his men’s sons is raised to maturity so he can take over for his deceased father,” Makoto explains, “So this is our chance. We need someone to go undercover, so we need everyone at the office. Now.” 

Akiteru’s heart is beating so fast, his mind racing, it feels like a blink between getting the call and reaching the sex crimes office. The fullness of the small office reminds him of the night they’d raided Nishimura’s place and saved Tadashi, save for the lack of any tactical units. Voices, excited yet solemn, fill the room, and every one of them overlaps the other. He can make out Makoto’s voice, as well as Tanaka-san and Fukui-san, but he doesn’t know too many more people from just their voices.

Makoto claps his hand together, stepping up to a podium he only uses when there’s an important announcement. “Oi! Is everyone here now?!” 

A chorus of _“Yes!”_ and _“I think so!”_ fill the room after a derisive murmur, everyone’s heads swiveling around to search for familiar faces. 

“Alright! So you all know why you got called in, so let’s get to it; We’ve been tracking Fujioka-san for years, now, and he’s finally in Japan for an indefinite amount of time, he’s looking for people to help with things around here. His ring is so big, we’re going to need at least six people here to volunteer to go in undercover, and someone to volunteer to keep in contact with them from here.” 

The room is silent. Akiteru knows no one is brave enough to volunteer to go into undercover work for an indefinite case like this. Akiteru himself hasn’t even been stupid enough. But Makoto looks desperate, as though this may be his last chance to work this case, and so he raises his hand slowly. “I’ll go undercover.” 

“But Tsukishima, don’t you have two kids at--” Tanaka-san cuts off at the sharp kick to the shin Akiteru gives him and Makoto scribbles his name onto a sheet. Others start to volunteer after that, and Akiteru feels like he’s in school again, and they’re all just students volunteering to help the teacher clean up after school hours for extra credit. 

Tanaka-san’s words press on him, however, and his mind wanders to Tadashi and Kei, both sleeping at home, and what they would do. He knows he can set it so some of his paycheck goes to bills and their dinner, and they both have keys, and each other, but how would they feel about him just suddenly disappearing? They’re all just getting used to their new lives. 

He’s already volunteered, however, and he can’t back out now. 

  
  
  


Kei wakes up at three in the morning with crooked glasses, a kink in his neck and a rumbling stomach. He hears the tv playing some game show rerun and it takes him a moment to recognize his surroundings. When he does, however, he curses himself. Falling asleep on the couch, how pathetic. With a sigh, Kei stands, stretching. His stomach yowls like a neglected cat, and he remembers he hasn’t had dinner yet.  _ Food _ . 

The kitchen is still lit, and he flicks the light off with irritated eyes as he makes his way to the fridge, where the pizza box looks like absolute greasy heaven. He picks a slice out of it -- pepperoni -- and is about to devour it still cold when he hears the front door creak open, and someone curse quietly when they stub their toe on the doorway. Alarmed, his hand reaches back and finds the wooden knife stand on the counter, and he pulls one out at random. His heart hammers in his chest, and he wishes Akiteru were awake to deal with this because he is not ready for this, and oh god they’re turning the corner and--

Kei raises the knife with a yell, and the person rounding the corner tumbles to the ground with an equally frightened yell, one Kei is all too familiar with. 

“Akiteru?!” 

“Kei?! What are you doing up?!” 

“What are you doing sneaking into the house at three in the morning? Actually, no, when did you sneak out? When I fell asleep at midnight, you were watching that American drama with me.” Kei stares at Akiteru blankly in the dark, knife still in his hand but no longer in the air. Akiteru gnaws at his lower lip, looking guilty. 

“The office called… A new case. I have to go undercover for a pretty long case. They sent me to pack.”

“So you weren’t going to say goodbye to me, or to Tadashi.” 

It’s not a question. 

“I-- I wasn’t going to just  _ disappear _ , I thought you’d both be  _ asleep _ ! I was going to leave a note!”

Kei scoffs. _A_ _note_. Pathetic. “Whatever. Have fun, Akiteru.” 

  
With that, Kei drops the knife on the counter and stalks to the stairs, his dinner forgotten on the kitchen table. Akiteru, still on the floor, groans and lets his head fall to the floor with a dull  _ thud _ . He was probably going to regret this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm getting better at pushing out chapters that are at least over 1,000 words :) The outline for the earlier ones were really short. Comments are much appreciated~


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really shouldn't be posting shit when I don't have the next chapter written, and I thought I was going to do better with this fic, but I'm a shitty person, so..?

Sunday morning brings rain. Cold, harsh, rain that doesn’t seem like it’s going to let up pounding against the windows and the tin roof, but the house is unusually quiet for a Sunday morning, when Akiteru would usually be making a end-of-week treat of some sort (that would probably end up burnt and on the ceiling of the kitchen again). Kei’s already out of bed, and he assumes Akiteru is still asleep, and so he creeps out of bed and down the stairs quietly. A note on the counter catches his attention as he’s grabbing the milk from the fridge and he scoops it up curiously. 

Kei, Tadashi-- hi! It’s Akiteru nii-chan! So this is hard to explain on paper, but basically I’ll be gone for a while. I don’t know when I’ll be back. No worries! You’ll be getting a bit of my paycheck to get food every couple of weeks, so you won’t starve or anything. I’ll do my best to come back soon! Bye! --Akiteru. 

The note is scribbled hastily, and some words overlap each other -- as if Akiteru couldn’t see his lines -- but Tadashi gets the idea with a sinking heart. 

Gone. Akiteru is gone. Left-- left  _ him _ . Left  _ them _ . Now he’s alone with Kei,  _ who hate his guts _ , and--

Wait. Where  _ is _ Kei? 

Tadashi sets the note down hastily, and moves to the living room; not there (however, some drama is playing, and blankets lay on the floor, so maybe Kei just went to get something from the corner store?). He’s not in the bathroom, Tadashi passed it on his way down. He’s not in the kitchen. Tadashi tries to rationalize with himself, tries to tell himself that they  _ didn’t leave him _ , but his mind is screaming  _ they’re gone they’re gone they’re gone, you’re alone _ , and he knows he’s lying to himself. 

He can’t breathe. 

He’s alone again, and he doesn’t think he can live like that again, now that he’s had a taste of what it’s like to have a real family. 

Tadashi’s knees go out against his will, and he doesn’t have time to brace himself against the wall before he hits the floor, knocking the rest of the breath from his lungs. He gasps, but no air comes. His heart hammers in his chest and he tries to suck in a breath but  _ he can’t breathe. _

“I-- I can’t be alone...Please…” He whimpers, but he doesn’t know who to; with how his life has been so far, he knows there’s no god watching over him. He bites his lip, trying to focus on his breathing. 

“ _ Please… _ ” 

The voice in his voice keeps chanting in a mantra:  _ Alone, alone, alone, you’re never going to have anyone love you, you’re alone alone alone. Pathetic.  _ His hands shake as he tries to pull himself up, but he gets to his feet with the help of the couch, and he stumbles his way towards the stairs. _ They finally got tired of you; they probably figured out how useless you are and packed up, so you wouldn’t know where to find them. Your own  _ family _ didn’t want you back. How-- _

Tadashi’s consciousness loses him before the voice can finish it’s sentence, and he falls at the foot of the stairs with no one to catch him

He doesn’t know how long he’s unconscious, but when his eyes finally crack open (with difficulty, after all the crying he’s done), Kei is leaning over him, eyes wide, shaking him, and--

“Ts- Tsukki?” 

“Yeah, it’s me, what the hell happened?” Kei’s voice is far, far too loud, and Tadashi flinches under the other boys sharp gaze. He thinks back to the note, to Akiteru, and the voice from before, and suddenly he can’t breathe again. His chest heaves, and he tries to calm down because  _ he’s not alone _ , but he’s having another panic attack and he knows it. 

He knows Kei can feel his chests rapid rise and fall, with his hands still on his shoulders from shaking him, and that only makes it worse; now Kei has to see how utterly  _ pathetic _ he is.

Kei speaks again, and his voice echoes in Tadashi’s ears, “Yamaguchi, what happened? Do I need to call an ambulance?” 

Tadashi shakes his head, and a clenched hand reaches up to hit at Kei’s chest. His fingers slowly unclench and wrap around Kei’s shirtfront. 

“I-- Aki-nii-- h-- he’s sick of me…” He whimpers out, eyes slamming shut, and he misses the frown and furrowed brows he receives in answer from Kei. “A- Aki-n-- nii is gone, he l- left, he d- didn’t even say good-- goodbye…” 

There’s a sigh, and before Tadashi knows it, he’s being lifted into the air by Kei. He lets out a yelp, his eyes shooting open, and he sucks in a labored breath. He’s still having a panic attack and Kei wants to  _ lift him in the air _ ? 

Kei starts up the stairs; in the blink of an eye, they’re in their room, and when Tadashi expects Kei to put him in his own bed, but instead he’s placed softly into Kei’s, the warm blankets draped over him, and Kei’s hand is in his hair. His breath is still shuddering, his mind fuzzy, but Kei’s touch is warm, comforting, and _so_ _not Kei_ that Tadashi feels his breathing returning slowly, panic replaced with confusion. 

“Tsu...kki?...” 

Kei’s voice is soft yet stern as he speaks, his hand lightly running through Tadashi’s hair. “What just happened?” 

“I-- I thought you and Akiteru-kun left me… I didn’t want to be alone again...  I panicked...” 

Kei softens at Tadashi’s words. He’d thought he left him? He knows he wasn’t very happy about living with him at first, but he wouldn’t just  _ leave _ him. Besides, he rather likes Tadashi, if he has to admit it. 

“I-- I… when I lived with my parents… I didn’t have anyone to talk to-- they hit me, and screamed at me, and cut me, and I was  _ alone _ . I can’t be alone again. I can’t, I can’t, I--” Tadashi gasps when Kei’s arms wrap around him; he looks down, surprised, at the head pressed into his chest, at soft blonde curls and skewed glasses. 

“...My parents died, a few months before you came around.” Kei says, his voice nothing but a whisper. “I felt alone, and abandoned for a long time-- I secluded myself from the few friends I had, because I felt like they didn’t understand, and so I was even more alone. 

"You won’t be alone, not when you’re living here. Aki-nii travels for work a lot, and very suddenly, but he’d never leave us. Never. I promise.”

Tadashi’s eyes start to water, his lip quivering, and when Kei looks up he fears he’s done something wrong. When Tadashi starts sobbing, he’s positive he’s done something wrong. 

“Wait, no-- no, please don’t cry--”

“N- No, they-- they’re _happy_ tears!” Tadashi rushes, back to his usual awkward self, and Kei relaxes. “They’re _happy_. I’m-- I'm sorry I’m being s- so pathetic...” 

Kei scoffs. “You’re fine.”

Kei allows Tadashi to cry, and when he’s all cried out, they lay together and Kei just holds him. Holds him until he falls asleep, exhausted from --  _ whatever that was _ . Kei honestly doesn’t know. He’s had his fair share of anxiety attacks, but that was  _ really _ bad. The day is still young, the clock only just hitting noon, and Kei is far from sleepy. Kei can’t stop thinking about the  _ panic _ in Tadashi’s eyes, and the way he pleaded to not be left alone. 

  
Kei hopes his promises were enough, and eventually drifts off, far too early, breath falling into Tadashi’s calm intakes and outtakes. “You’ll be ok,” he whispers as he drifts off, his arms tightening around Tadashi’s waist, “I promise.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very verrry minor homophobia when the bullies come in, so if you want, just skip to “Who’s not a what, now?” and read from there. Comments are always welcome!

Tadashi dreads school. It’s loud, and full of people that like to push other people around for fun, but worst of all, he’s  _ alone _ . He has Kei, sure, but he’s alone during club hours, he’s alone most of the time at lunch, and usually when he’s with Kei, he’s ignoring him. Not to mention he’s slower when it comes to classes, and so he’s often not at the same pace as his peers. 

All around, school sucks. 

After school is the worst, however. 

“Hey, Yamaguchi~” 

In the month or so they’ve been in school, the bullies have visited him every day; by now he’s riddled with bruises, all able to be hidden easily, but painful. They torment him, with words and painful hits and kicks, and he however hard he tries to hide, they always find him-- and if they don’t, he still has to meet Kei by the gates. They can catch him on his way there (he can’t even just wait by the gates, either; he’s tried  _ everything _ , they  _ always _ find him). 

He’s royally fucked either way, and he knows it.

The leader of the group hits him, and he bites his tongue to muffle his whimper. Tears spring in his eyes, and he can taste blood pooling in his mouth.

“Look, he’s crying already! We hardly even  _ touched _ him yet!” 

A punch to the gut has Tadashi gasping for air, coughing. He falls against the person who punched him, and the boy reels back, letting him fall to the ground. He lets out a whimper. One of the others kicks him in the gut, while the leader steps heavily down on his ankle. Tadashi cries out, feeling pain spike in his ankle, but he’s gone through worse--  _ he shouldn’t be crying over a few punches. _

“Hey, Yamaguchi, does your ‘Tsukki’ know how ugly you are?” One of the boys asks, and the leader barks out a laugh. 

“Of course he does! He’s got _some_ taste, after all!” 

The other boys laugh, and Tadashi whines. 

Something lights in the leader’s eyes. He crouches down to Tadashi’s level, smirking, and grabs Tadashi’s hair, hauling him to a sitting position. “But you keep following him around. Do you maybe  _ like _ Tsukishima?”

Tadashi’s breath leaves him. He’s never thought of it before, but the calm he feels in his presence  is nice.  _ Does he like Kei? _ If he does, he must be some kind of masochist-- with the way Kei is cold to him, and usually ignores anything he says. 

“I think you do.” The leader scoffs before he can deny it  _ (and why was he even thinking about it, honestly) _ , and throws him back down. “Lame.” 

“You know, he’s not a  _ queer _ , right?”

“Yeah, he’s not a f--”

“ _ Who’s _ not a  _ what _ , now?”

The bullies startle and run off without turning to see who’s interrupted them. Tadashi falls to the ground with a dull thud, and he can’t even be bothered to run off as well. His gut aches, and his ankle stings with pain, a bruising pain that he knows he’s going to feel in the morning. 

“Yamaguchi.” 

Shit. 

“Ts- Tsukki--” 

“Were...those kids beating you up?” 

“...No?..” 

Kei’s voice is stern, and warning, “Yamaguchi…” 

“I-- I’m sorry, Tsukki...Y-- Yes, they were.” Tadashi’s head falls in shame. His lip quivers, and he knows he’s still crying, though, he doesn’t care much.

Kei sighs. “Pathetic.” 

Tadashi’s heart sinks. “S- Sorry, Ts--” 

“Well, at least this means I get to skip the rest of practice…” 

“What--?” 

“Well, someone needs to walk you home…”

“Tsukki, you shouldn’t--”

“Come on, Yamaguchi.”

Kei offers a hand to Tadashi, and Tadashi reels back, before realizing his intentions with a flush. Taking his hand, Tadashi groans, biting his lip a little too hard when he first puts weight on his ankle. When blood pools in his mouth once more, he realizes his mistake and calmly asks Kei for help. He’d rather not look so pathetic in front of Kei, but his ankle  _ really _ hurts, and it’s a pretty far walk home. 

With a sigh, Kei pulls Tadashi’s arm over his shoulder, ducking to his height, and they start home. He tries not to think of the annoyance when he saw the group of boys surrounding a hapless victim, nor of the bubbling  _ rage _ he felt when he saw that the  _ “hapless victim” _ was Tadashi. He doesn’t know why, but he wanted to beat those boys up for even  _ thinking _ they could hurt Tadashi. But  _ why _ ? Tadashi’s just some kid that came into his life, Kei doesn’t need to care for him at all. 

At least, he tells himself that.

By time they reach home, they’re both soaked because of  _ course  _ it decided to rain, but Tadashi can walk on his own now, though with a slight limp. 

“Wait here,” Kei sighs in relief at the warmth of the house, pushing Tadashi, still in his soaked clothing,  to the couch and the boy makes a small noise of protest before Kei kneels down in front of him, sending him a glare. “I need to make sure those idiots didn’t damage you too much.” 

“O- Ok, Tsukki…” Tadashi mumbles, his head falling, and Kei feels guilt pool in his chest. “Sorry.” 

He  _ really _ needs to stop apologizing. It’s not his fault. “Whatever.” 

He rolls up Tadashi’s pant leg, frowning when Tadashi winces. His frown deepens even more when he sees the already-forming bruise on his ankle. The bruise blooms around his ankle, from the right side to the left, and Tadashi lets out a slight whine when Kei presses on it. 

“Can you move it?” Kei asks, and Tadashi nods, biting his lip. “Slowly move it in a circular motion for me…” 

Tadashi, still gnawing on his lip, slowly pivots his ankle. Kei’s fingers prod softly at the abused flesh, and he bites his lip as well, eyes trained on Tadashi’s ankle.

“It-- It’s not broken...I know what that feels like.”

Kei blinks once, twice, before pulling his hand away. No questions asked.

“Yeah, uh...Well. I’m getting you ice.” 

“O- Ok…” 

Kei makes his way to the kitchen, his mind on Tadashi’s words. He knows about Tadashi’s past-- he shouldn’t be so worked up over it. Maybe it’s completely unrelated to his parents. Maybe he was a clumsy child, just  _ added onto _ everything else. 

Re-entering with ice, Kei plops down next to Tadashi, and plops the bag into his lap. Tadashi flinches at the sudden action, but picks the bag up, placing it on his ankle, before he opens his mouth to speak. “Could-- Could you...not tell this to Akii-nii?”

Kei cocks his head. “Why?”  _ Why would he not want Akiteru to know?  _

“I’m already such a burden, I-- I don’t want his to need to look after me any more than he does already.” 

Kei frowns. “You’re not a burden.” 

“There’s no need to lie, Tsukki,” Tadashi laughs, bitterly, and cringes when the bruises on his sides shift. “I’ve accepted it already. Along with the fact that I’m weak, and cry easily...” 

Kei huffs, feeling desperate to tell Tadashi something to make that look leave his face. “Seriously, you’re not. You just need to learn to defend yourself.” 

Tadashi quirks a brow, and now the look is gone, replaced with confusion. “How, though..?” 

“You’re going to join volleyball, obviously."


	10. Chapter 10

The gym is loud--  _ unbelievably loud _ . Balls bounce about and echo around, as well as loud voices calling out, “mine” or “nice kill” or “don’t mind” and it’s  _ overwhelming _ . Tadashi’s only just set foot into the gym and he can’t breathe. Kei is at his side, calling out a greeting, and when all eyes fall on them he’s there when Tadashi’s hand reaches for his shirt. The captain, he assumes, breaks off from the team’s exuberant practice to greet them with a smile. 

“Tsukishima! Is this the friend you said was joining the team?” 

“Yes, sir.” Tsukishima drones, and Tadashi’s almost surprised at his voice; he sounds a lot more  _ depressed _ . “This is Yamaguchi Tadashi.” 

“N- Nice to meet you!” Tadashi rushes out, bowing, and the captain laughs nervously. 

“N- No need to bow, we’re all friends here,” The captain says, rubbing his neck, “I’m Sawamura Daichi, your captain. It’s nice to have you here!” 

“Th- Thank you, sir!” 

“So, do you know--” 

“He has no idea what goes on in volleyball.” Kei says, still scarily devoid of emotion, and Tadashi bites his lip. The captain would surely be upset, and yell. Why would you bring someone who can’t play volleyball? He’s probably a dunce! Get him out of here--

“That’s fine, that’s fine! We can teach him the basics, for now!” 

Kei hums. “Yeah, sure.” 

Daichi claps his hands, and grins. “Alright! So we should introd--”

“Yamaguchi!” 

Tadashi doesn’t have any time to react before a ball of orange is on him and he’s on the ground, gasping for breath, with one Hinata shoyou on him, yelling in his ear about how “I’m so glad you’re here, are you joining the team, you’d be so great!” and then he’s being hauled up, Kageyama holding Hinata, Kei supporting Tadashi (with a glare Tadashi doesn’t see). 

“Everyone! Gather ‘round!” The gym goes oddly quiet as the balls stop bouncing, the shouts silence, and footsteps squeak their way to form a circle around the small group of five. Tadashi feels curious eyes on him, and he chews his lip nervously, his hand finding Kei’s shorts once more. 

“Alright; this is Yamaguchi. Be nice to him, he’s a beginner, so he’s learning.” 

“Nice to meet you, Yamaguchi!” The team bows, and Tadashi’s eyes widen. He bows as well, his  grip on Kei’s shirt slacking. 

“T- Take care of me!..” 

When he straightens, the team is smiling at him, brightly, and he can’t help but smile back. 

“Ok, that’s all, get back to practice!” 

The team shouts a loud reply back, and then they break off, running about. Kei makes his way to the bench, motioning for Tadashi to follow, but a tired-looking dark haired boy taps his shoulder with a smile. 

“Hi.” 

Tadashi smiles his brightest smile, trying to tell himself that this boy is friendly. “H- Hi.” 

“I’m Ennoshita Chikara, wing spiker.” 

“Y- Yamaguchi… Tadashi…” 

Ennoshita-san laughs, a genuine laugh, and rubs his neck. “I know you’re new, so I was wondering if you’d like it if I helped you learn? You probably want Tsukishima to help you, and I don’t blame you, but I-- I’m not a starting player, and he’s our tallest middle blocker, so…” 

“I-- I’d like that.” Tadashi says, flushing, and Ennoshita-san smiles. 

“Great! Uh, I guess we should start you with receiving?..”    
  


 

Tsukishima Kei is good --  _ great _ , even -- at volleyball. His height is definitely an advantage, his technique and game sense something Tadashi never sees at home (something akin to  _ passion _ , however numb Kei looks in front of his peers), and his sharp eyes are quick to pick up opponent’s moves. Kei is great at volleyball, something people are starting to notice. 

People such as one Kuroo Tetsurou. 

“Oi! Glasses-kun, block for us!” 

“No.” Kei stops Bokuto’s advances by holding an arm out straight, hand pushing his face, and a hefty sigh. 

Kuroo doesn’t miss the way Kei’s smaller friend hides in on himself, nor does he miss the way Kei stands directly in front of him, dangerous glare on his face when Bokuto gets too close with his fumbling limbs. 

 

“Your friend can come too,” Kuroo says, his eyes watching the other boy’s eyes widen as his shoulders hunch around him even more. “We could always use a receiving target~”

Kei states blankly, “He’s just a beginner.” 

“Even more reason to have you guys practice with us!”

Kei scoffs. “I think we’re fine.” 

“Ts- Tsukki, maybe we sh--”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” 

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

Kei slackens his arm, and Bokuto falls forward, nearly knocking into Tadashi, and Kei frowns. Kuroo doesn’t miss it, and smirks when they lock eyes.

“Well, how about just you, then,  _ Tsukki _ ?” 

The response is immediate, “Don’t call me that.”  

Kuroo laughs heartily, and looks to say something when one of Karasuno’s members calls for Kei’s friend, who jumps at his name. 

“I- I have to go, Tsukki. You should practice with them, ok?” 

Kei looks taken aback by Tadashi’s bright smile, and just nods as he runs off to meet the dark-haired bench warmer, to practice receives with their libero, from the look of it.

“So… Freckles?” Kei glares at him, his mood drastically changed now that Tadashi is gone. Kuroo laughs, clapping him on the back, “Bo! Let’s go!” 

However, before Kuroo and Bokuto can get a grip oh Kei to drag him away, the blonde is ducking out of their reach and rushing off. 

“Wait! Glasses--” 

Kuroo sighs. “We’re never going to get him to block for us…” 

“Did you see the way he looks at Freckles, though?” 

Kuroo smirks. “I thought you wouldn’t notice.” 

“We’re totally getting them together, right?” 

“I thought you’d never ask~”


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning is tiring, and by time individual practice comes along Tadashi is exhausted. All he wants to do is lay down, but he needs to practice -- to get better, like his teammates --and so he suffers through individual practice with Ennoshita. He’s on his way to shower and go to bed when he’s caught by none other than Bokuto and Kuroo. 

Bokuto smirks at Tadashi and he stops in his tracks. “Hey Freckles!” 

“Block for us?” 

“We’ll go soft on you, we promise!” A wink has Tadashi backing away, stuttering a response, when someone rounds the corner, and he backs into them. 

“I told you yesterday, he’s a beginner. He’s not blocking for a powerhouse school when he can hardly block his own teammates.” 

“Hey hey, Tsukki! Don’t feel jealous, now~

“But--” 

“Oi, Tsukishima! Daichi needs you.” 

Kei sighs, and calls back. “Coming.” 

“When you come back--”

“No.” And Kei is gone, leaving Tadashi alone. 

Kuroo sidles up to Tadashi. “So…” 

“Blocks?” 

“N- No, I really shouldn’t--” 

“Please?” 

“We promise we won’t spike too hard!” 

“Ts- Tsukki said…” 

“Who cares what Tsukki said? You’re your own person, Freckles!” 

“But…” 

“Please?..” 

Tadashi bites his lip. He  _ shouldn’t… _ “O- Ok…” 

Kuroo and Bokuto highfive. “Yahoo~” 

Tadashi feels intimidated watching the two tall men on the other side of the net, smirking down at him, and he’s starting to regret his decision. 

“Maybe I should--”

“No backing out, now!” Kuroo yells, already jumping to spike a ball Bokuto had tossed up to the net. Tadashi squeaks, jumping to meet the spike, but his fingers barely brush the ball. He’s  rushing to get the ball when Bokuto opens his mouth to speak. 

“So-- Tsukki, huh?” 

Tadashi freezes, the ball dropping from his hands. 

He stutters out nervously, “Wh- What do you mean?” 

“Well, you like each other, obviously.” 

Kuroo whacks Bokuto on the back of the head, and Tadashi unfreezes. He smoothes sweaty palms on his shorts. “Bo! You can’t just  _ say _ it, we’re supposed to be being  _ subtle _ .” 

“But we could just--” 

“Bo!” 

Bokuto turns to Tadashi, who’s looking like a deer caught in the headlights, and pouts at him. “You do like him, don’t you?”

Tadashi’s mouth opens and closes uselessly. He wants to say  _ no, no I don’t, he-- he’s a boy, he’s my only friend,  _ but he can’t find it in himself to do so. Because he knows he doesn’t know the answer to that; with how nice Kei is being to him these days, he’s finding his heart flutters every time their hands brush when doing homework, or practicing volleyball in the back garden. But then again, they live together, and that would be really awkward and he’s probably just imagining it, and so he opens his mouth to speak, “I-- I…”

“Yamaguchi, you actually said yes to them?” A scoff startles all three boys, and they all look guiltily anywhere but Kei. “You need some backbone. Come on, dinner.”

“C- Coming, Tsukki…”    
  
  


 

“You two.” 

“Ah, hey Tsukki!” 

“Finally decide to block for us?” 

Kei frowns, and crosses his arms. “No. And don’t call me that. I’m here because you need to stop bothering Yamaguchi.” 

Bokuto’s brows furrow, and he pouts a lip. “But we’re not bothering him!” 

“He told me at dinner that you make him uncomfortable. I don’t like it.” 

Kuroo smirks. “I get it. You just don’t want anyone bothering your boyfriend~” 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“But you wish he was--”

“No, I don’t. He’s my  _ friend _ \-- not to mention a  _ guy _ \-- and I don’t like him. I just don’t want to see him hurt, or uncomfortable. He’s...fragile.” Kei frowns, and looks at his hands. Why would they think he likes Tadashi? They’re just  _ friends _ . “He’s been through a lot...I just want to protect him.” 

Kuroo snickers, and Kei’s head snaps up, glaring at him.

“ _ What _ ?” 

“I’m sorry, bro, but that’s so-- so gay.” Kuroo is straight up laughing now, and Kei feels frustration building up. He scoffs, and rolls his eyes. 

“Whatever. Just-- leave him alone.” 

“Only if you block for us.” 

“Yeah! We need  _ someone _ to block our insane spikes.” 

He stalks off, trying to ignore Kuroo’s  _ ugly _ laughter and mutters of “I love you, Bo”, and before he knows it, he’s climbing into his futon next to Tadashi when the blankets next to his own shift. Tadashi rubs at his eyes sleepily, having fallen asleep immediately after dinner, and he squints through the dark to see Kei. He frowns, and Kei frowns right back.

“Tsukki?..” 

“Hey.”

“Where were you?”

Kei shakes his head, climbing into his bed. “Just dealing with some annoying senpai…” 

Tadashi gasps, his eyes widening. “You didn’t-- You didn’t beat anyone up, did you?” 

“No, just talked.” 

“W- What did these guys do to upset you?..” 

Kei rolls onto his side to get a better look at Tadashi’s wide worried eyes. “They were making you uncomfortable, so I had to tell them off.” 

Tadashi looks confused a moment before realization crosses his face. “...Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san?”

“Yeah.” 

Tadashi’s eyes light up before he frowns, his brows furrowing. “You told them off for me?” 

“Yeah?..I don’t like seeing you uncomfortable.” Kei flushes, embarrassed. 

Tadashi’s smile is blinding, and Kei feels the blush on his face grow, his heart rate kicking up. “N- No one’s ever defended me before…”

Kei bites his lip. “Wh- Whatever. Just go to bed.”

“Ok! Night, Tsukki.” 

Tadashi’s eyes flutter shut, and Kei turns to face the other way, trying to calm down. Soon, Tadashi’s soft breathing evens out next to him and he turns calmly around.  _ I don’t like him, right?  _

Tadashi shifts and hums in his sleep, and Kei feels his face heat up and his breath stop in his chest when an arm falls heavily on his side.  _ Fuck _ .  _ I like him.  _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, mild homophobia from "His heart hurts when he thinks about Kei ignoring him-- he thought they were getting close." to "He’s alone."

Alone. Tadashi is alone, and it feels like  _ shit _ . Ever since training camp, after Kei told off Kuroo and Bokuto for him, Kei hasn’t said more than three words to him. He’s always rushing home and to school without him, avoiding him at practice, ignoring him at school… Tadashi wonders if he’s done anything wrong, but he can’t fathom what, and he doesn’t want to push his relationship with Kei. 

“Oh, Yamaguchi~”

The bullies are back. They corner him in the hallways at lunch time, in the passing time between practice and school, and school and practice. His arms and sides are littered with bruises again, but he can easily push the easier to see bruises as volleyball injuries. 

His heart hurts when he thinks about Kei ignoring him-- he thought they were getting  _ close _ . Maybe they were getting  _ too _ close; maybe Kei found out about the small crush he has on him and decided to end that all immediately. Maybe he didn’t want everyone to think he’s  _ gay _ . It’s ok. Tadashi understands. 

“What, your boyfriend isn’t going to save you today?” 

“Ha! Tsukishima isn’t here, now,” 

“I don’t think I’ve seen him in a while; did he figure out how  _ disgusting _ you are? That you want his dick in your ass, and that you’re a fucking  _ queer _ ?” 

The insults hurt more than the blows. He’s not ashamed that he likes Kei, but the words  _ hurt _ . He knows that they’re trying to get to him, and that his letting them getting to them is letting them win, but it  _ hurts _ and he can’t stop the hurt. 

_ He’s alone.  _

  
  
  


_ I like Tadashi. I fucking  _ like _ Tadashi.  _ The thought swirls through Kei’s mind, and he feels dizzy.  _ I like Tadashi. Holy shit. I can’t like Tadashi, he sleeps in the same room as me. Akiteru’s his legal guardian, that technically makes us brothers.  _ Kei feels like vomiting.  _ Fuck. Not to mention Tadashi’s a guy. When did you start liking guys? What the hell. Fuck _ . 

Kei’s realization has him wandering through life in a haze, and training camp ends with him ignoring Tadashi. He needs to focus on sorting things out; like  _ when the fuck exactly  _ he fell in love with the freckled boy that sleeps across the room from him. He doesn’t  _ mean _ to ignore him, per se, but he-- he needs time to  _ process _ . 

_ I like Tadashi. Like, like him. I am so fucked. What the fuck. Shit. _

All he can really do at the moment, it seems, is cuss profusely. 

“Tsukishima-kun, Yamaguchi-kun, you’re needed at the office.”

Kei jumps in his seat, where he’d been pretending to do notes, and scrambles up. He hears snickers from his classmates, and he feels a flush cover his cheeks.  _ God, I’m so lame _ . He sees Tadashi in the corner of his eye as he goes to follow the school secretary to the main office, and averts his eyes when they meet Tadashi’s. The secretary is silent except for pleasantries with passing teachers and TA’s.

“So...What are we here for?” 

“I see your attitude hasn’t changed since I left…”

Tadashi and Kei whirl around with wide eyes. Tadashi smiles. “Aki-nii!” 

Akiteru smiles just as brightly back, and hugs Tadashi tight, before  moving on to Kei. 

“I missed both of you so much!”

“I missed you too, Akiteru-nii.” 

Akiteru hugs Tadashi again, tight, and doesn’t miss the flinch he tries to hide when he does so. 

“Boy, it’s been a long month…” 

“Yeah…”

Tadashi fidgets where he stands now. He tugs at his sleeves, and Akiteru notices with concerned eyes that a  _ bruise _ is forming on the pale skin he’s attempting to hide. “You boys will have to tell me what you got up to while I was gone when you get back from school, ok? I don’t want to keep you away from class any longer.” 

“Ok, Aki-nii!” 

“Yeah, ok.” 

“Alright…” Akiteru sighs, bites his lip, and hugs both boys once more before they shuffle off to class. “I-- I missed you…”

Dinner is a quiet affair. Kei and Tadashi had told of their school affairs when they got home, and Akiteru wasn’t sharing his endeavors, so they hardly had a thing to say to each other. It occurs to Akiteru that Kei hasn’t said a word to Tadashi, nor looked at him, since he’s been back, and it’s disconcerting. 

“I- I’m going to finish my homework…” 

“Ok! Have fun!” 

“I am too.” 

“Ah, actually, Kei-- could you stay here? I want to talk to you.” Akiteru smiles at Kei, who locks confused, panicked  eyes with Tadashi for a second.

“...Sure?..” 

Tadashi stares after them for a brief second before scurrying off, and Akiteru watches him go. 

“So, Kei.” 

“What?” 

“How’s Tadashi doing? Is he getting along with classmates?” 

“Yeah?.. He gets along fine.” 

“No one’s-- No one’s bullying him?..” Kei stays silent, picking at his fingers. Akiteru presses. “Kei?” 

“He-- He was...But I stopped it. I even started him playing volleyball, so he could get stronger.” 

Akiteru feels guilt well up in his chest. He can’t imagine how much pain he’s been in. 

“He-- He was?”

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you.” 

“Not tell me? If he’s getting bullied, I should  _ know-- _ ”

“But I told you, he’s joined volleyball, and the idiots that hurt him can’t hurt him anymore.” 

Akiteru furrows his brows. “I could have  _ sworn… _ ” 

Kei frowns. “What?” 

“I thought I saw a bruise…” Akiteru frowns, and stands quickly. 

“What are--” 

“I need to talk to Tadashi…” Akiteru is quick to rush up the stairs and into Kei and Tadashi’s room, startling the boy.

“Aki-nii? What’s wrong, are you ok?” Tadashi’s voice is laced with worry and Akiteru notes he should probably calm down; he doesn’t want to scare Tadashi. 

“Tadashi, I… I want you to know I’m not mad before I continue, ok?” Tadashi’s eyes widen, and Akiteru panics. “A- And don’t be mad at Kei! I told him to tell me.” 

“T- Tell you..?”

“That you’re getting picked on.” Akiteru sees Tadashi gulp. 

“I- I’m not, not anymore--” 

“We both know that’s not true.”

“It-- It is--” Akiteru calmly pulls up the long sleeved shirt Tadashi’s wearing, and tears spring up in Tadashi’s eyes. Akiteru opens his mouth to speak when Tadashi whimpers. “P- Please don’t be mad at me for lying… I- I didn’t want you to know because I don’t want to be a burden, I didn’t want to--”

“Tadashi, you’re fine,” Akiteru breathes, tears welling up in his eyes as well, and he hugs Tadashi tight. “You aren’t in trouble. I’m not mad. I just wish you would have told me…” 

“I- I’m sorry.” Tadashi sniffs, and Akiteru feels the telltale wetness on his shoulder that means Tadashi is crying. “I’m still too weak to protect myself…” 

“That’s ok,” Akiteru whispers, and Tadashi sniffles once more. “It’s ok if you can’t protect yourself, but you need someone to. So please let Kei protect you.” 

Tadashi’s sobs start up again. “B- But Kei’s  _ ignoring _ me, and I don’t know why!” 

Akiteru quirks a brow. “Kei’s...ignoring you?..” 

“He has been for the last week, a- and I don’t know what I did. I- I thought we were getting closer… I guess he doesn’t want to be associated with me…”

Akiteru clucks his tongue. “Now, why wouldn’t he?” 

“I- I don’t know… I’m kind of lame…”

“Well, I think you’re great.” Akiteru gives Tadashi a final squeeze before standing, ruffling Tadashi’s hair. “And that little shit better figure it out.” 

Tadashi giggles, and wipes at his nose. “Th- Thanks, Aki-nii.” 

“Hey, any time, kid.” 

Akiteru makes his way to his room, too tired from the day and dealing with the boys, his mind racing, and he knows that he’s not going to sleep any time soon. When he’d left, everything was  _ fine _ . Or, at least, he  _ thinks _ it was. He’s not so sure anymore. He groans. 

_ These boys are going to be the death of him. _


	13. Chapter 13

Oikawa Tooru is problematic for Kei. Very problematic. He’s loud, and boisterous, and his serves-- not only are they powerful and hard to receive, but he can see the way Tadashi trembles at just the  _ thought _ of receiving it. The sight of it has him quaking in his shorts. 

“Look out!” 

Kei’s eyes snap to the sidelines, where Tadashi is sitting, and stiffens when a rogue ball slams with power right next to Tadashi. One of the ace of Seijoh’s near nationals-quality spikes had been received poorly -- by Hinata,  _ of course _ \-- and it  _ still _ had enough power to hurt someone. 

“Sorry!” Comes the call from Seijoh’s side of the net, and Kei glares at him. 

Tadashi looks shell-shocked, and so Sugawara calls back an “it’s ok”. Kei stares at him, worried, and they lock eyes for a second. Tadashi blinks, and then turns away.

It’s been like this in the week that Akiteru’s been home. Tadashi turning away. He hardly speaks to him anymore, at school or otherwise; he’s always with Ennoshita, or with Sugawara-- never alone with him. At home, he doesn’t go to bed until late, and doesn’t speak as much as usual. Kei knows Akiteru’s suspicious, but what’s he supposed to say? Tadashi seems to have given up getting Kei to stop ignoring him. Maybe it’s a taste of his own medicine. 

“Yamaguchi, are you ok? You seem pretty stiff…” 

“Aha, I’m just a little intimidated. Seijoh is strong!” 

Kei frowns at the conversation at the sidelines, and he  _ swears _ it’s not jealousy. With a sigh, he readies himself for the serve coming from the other side of the net. 

“Left, left!” 

The game goes on, and his thoughts of Tadashi leave his mind for the moment. 

It’s dark when the boys return home, sliding off their shoes as they enter the house. Sports bags fall on the floor, something Kei knows they’ll get scolded for later, but he doesn’t care. They’re home alone, seemingly, by the darkness of the house; on the counter is a note from Akiteru, and it confirms their suspicions. Kei thinks that at least he’s only working on a nightclub case, instead of another long case; he doesn’t think he’d be able to last, with the cold shoulder Tadashi is giving him at the moment. With a tired sigh, he asks Tadashi, “Do you want anything to eat?” 

Tadashi yawns, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head. “...Sleep…” 

The bus ride had been long, and Tadashi had even gotten to  _ play _ for a while; it’s no wonder he’s so tired. Kei only nods and watches as Tadashi makes his way up the stairs, eyes lidded and ready to  _ sleep _ . When Tadashi turns the corner at the top of the stairs, Kei turns to the cupboards. He isn’t really hungry, but Kei doesn’t want to go to bed just yet; he hopes Tadashi is fast asleep by time he makes his way up to their room. Maybe he’d wait for Akiteru to get home. 

His body, however, has a different idea, and within minutes of falling onto the couch with a half a bag of chips in hand, he’s out cold. When he wakes up with a kink in his neck and chips crumbled into his lap, he grumbles and makes his way up to his room, collapsing once more; he’s almost asleep once more when he hears a soft whimper across the room, something he’s been trying to ignore for weeks now, and he feels sleepiness leave him. 

  
  
  


Alone. He’s alone in his dream, in a dark,  _ dark _ \--yet somehow  _ terribly bright _ \-- room, and Tadashi feels completely and utterly  _ helpless _ . The room always gradually fills with windows, images of his past, present, and future-- and also things he’s never even  _ seen _ . He sees flashes of light, and someone with blonde hair hovering over him. He sees an old man speaking commands to a camera crew, and they’re crowded around something, but he can’t see  _ what _ . They take pictures, and shake the platform his body is on, and whatever happens is unbeknownst to him; the image changes, and suddenly he’s staring into a window with him, alone in the Tsukishima household, a note goodbye --  _ forever _ \-- in his hands. 

He’s crying. Akiteru had taken Kei, and driven the car off a cliff; they couldn’t deal with him anymore. The image changes again, and he’s staring inside his parent’s house. His mother is screaming at him, hitting him over and over again, and he’s calling for Kei, but Kei isn’t coming and he  _ knows _ it. 

He’s been having the dream for a while. Every night, he wakes, crying, and tonight is no different. 

_ You’re pathetic. You can’t do anything to protect yourself. You can’t have anyone leave you alone for five minutes, you’d probably be dead. Fuck.  _ Tadashi bites his lip, trying not to cry, but tears form anyway and he gasps for breath. _ Your parents hated you. Your bullies all have valid reasons to hate you. I bet Tsukki even hates you. You can’t do anything right. And now you’re going crazy with these stupid dreams! Path-- _   


Tadashi’s thoughts are interrupted by arms wrapping around him, and he lets out a yelp. “Ts- Tsukki--?” 

“I don’t think you’re pathetic.” Kei’s voice is soft, and warm in his ear. “And you shouldn’t either.”

“But I--”

“Stop.” 

“Sorry, Tsukki.” 

“Go back to sleep, ok? I’ll be across the room if you need me, ok?” A final squeeze has Tadashi’s heart swelling, and Kei is about to stand when Tadashi feels his hand wrap around Kei’s wrist involuntarily. 

“Can-- Can you sleep with me tonight?.. I-- I just need someone here…” 

Tadashi can see Kei gulp, and is about to revoke his offer when the covers are pulled back and Kei crawls in bed with him. 

“Just for tonight-- so you’re not alone.” 

“Yeah… Not alone.” And he’s never felt any less alone than now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy your fluff because shit is going down next chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild pornography this chapter! Yay! Shit starts now.

Dark hair, lanky freckled limbs-- it’s obvious that the person in the video is Tadashi. Possibly a bit younger than he is currently, but still  _ Tadashi _ . Tadashi’s breath comes out in short breaths as he whines out softly. His hand travels languidly over his cock under the blankets that cover most of his naked body. His mouth hangs open, his eyes shut tight. Tadashi’s relatively silent as he gets off, but it’s still quite  _ erotic _ , watching him.

Kei refuses to watch, however, no matter  _ how _ ready he was to get off to the video before he’d identified the person  _ in it _ . 

It had been meant as a quick fix-- something other than fantasies in the shower while Tadashi is out on a sleepover with Hinata. He didn’t think a quick google search of  _ “cute twink with freckles”  _ would give him such a  _ result _ . Now he’s just horny and confused and kind of sick. He feels guilty. 

It vaguely occurs to Kei that Tadashi is  _ really fucking hot _ before he slams his computer shut, trying to calm down. His body feels hot, and he’s  _ painfully _ hard in his pants. He can’t breathe right. Tadashi. In porn. Does Tadashi know that everyone’s able to see that? Does he know it’s bad, and people will be able to hold that against him? 

He has to tell Akiteru, doesn’t he? 

The very thought of telling Akiteru has Kei cringing-- maybe it would be different, telling him if he wasn’t his legal guardian, but now Akiteru is the main adult figure in his life, and admitting to watching porn, even if it’s for the better, would likely be a death sentence. Fuck. Kei really doesn’t want to, but this could  _ really _ turn out to be bad for Tadashi’s future. Hell, it may even be bad for Tadashi’s  _ present _ . And Akiteru works at sex crimes, he could totally get the video offline without question. 

_ But I really don’t want to tell Akiteru that I watched porn.. _ . 

Kei finds himself in the kitchen, standing in front of Akiteru, fiddling with his fingers before the thought is even completed. Akiteru is looking at him with raised eyebrows, and he knows he can’t just leave with a “nevermind” now. 

“A- Akiteru… I need to tell you something.” 

Akiteru looks at him, confusion clear on his face. “Oh...Kay? Go ahead, little brother.” 

“I-- I’m going to start this out by asking you to please not be mad, or ashamed, or grossed out -- at least not openly, at the moment -- with me when I say this.” If Akiteru wasn’t worried before, he certainly is now, and it shows in his face. 

“Alright?..”

Kei takes a deep breath before he continues on. “I… Have feelings for Tadashi. As in, like-- like  _ feelings _ for him, and-- Wait,  _ why are you laughing?! _ ” 

Akiteru is in fact giggling, leaning forward, clutching his gut. “I-- I thought you were telling me something super serious like you did something  _ illegal _ or something! Kei, I already  _ knew _ that, oh my god--” 

“You knew?! How many people know my feelings before I do?!” Kei growls, and Akiteru laughs harder, his peels of laughter near cackles now. “Ugh, whatev-- Akiteru, that’s not what I was going to tell you anyway! That’s not important right now, I wasn’t  _ finished _ !” 

“Sor-- Sorry, Kei, I just-- You sound so  _ serious _ , and then you say something like  _ that _ . P- Please, go on.” 

Kei sighs, and rubs his temple. He should look into becoming a monk or something, because that life would be  _ significantly _ better than the one he lives. “As I was saying… I like Tadashi. And sometimes, I… I need  _ release _ . If you know what I mean…” 

Now Akiteru is quiet, and looking at his brother with  _ very _ confused eyes. “...Ok?.. Kei, I don't want to know about your sex life, or lack thereof--”

“I saw Tadashi on a porn site.” 

Akiteru looks at Kei, and blinks. Then he's laughing, and Kei growls in frustration. 

“ _ Akiteru _ \--”

“You-- You saw Ta-- that's funny, Kei, it really is!” 

“I did!” Kei says, desperate, and pulls out his phone. He'll just have to  _ show _ Akiteru if he doesn't believe him. Kei goes into his history, and opens the tab Tadashi’s video had been on. “Seriously, Akiteru, this could be used against him--” 

Akiteru is silent, now, however, and staring at Kei’s phone, growing paler by the second. 

  
When Kei is  _ sure _ Akiteru is about to puke, his older brother opens his mouth. “...Kei, can I see your phone please?“ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a horrible person please enjoy this hell


	15. Chapter 15

“...Kei, can I see your phone please?” Kei hands his phone over with shaking hands, feeling absolutely chilled to the bone at his brother’s tone. Akiteru snatches it up, immediately pulling out his own phone, pressing it to his ear, and Kei panics;  _ Akiteru is going to yell at Tadashi, and he’ll be too scared to come home, he’ll run away, he’ll-- _ “Makoto, thank fuck, oh  _ thank god  _ you answered.” 

Kei frowns at Akiteru. He called his boss?  _ Ah _ . He must have thought ahead and decided call his boss right away. 

“Makoto, one of Tadashi’s videos have resurfaced-- yeah… No, it’s  _ definitely _ him… Kei found it… I don’t want to know… But it’s him, for sure! Oh, god, what if he-- Sorry.” Akiteru continues talking on the phone with Makoto, and Kei watches on, confused. 

_ One of Tadashi’s videos has resurfaced… _

_ Tadashi’s videos… _

_ One of… Tadashi’s videos… Resurfaced…  _

_ Resurfaced?..  _ Kei curses, and Akiteru looks at him with a raised eyebrow, still on the phone. Kei’s mind races, questions swirling through his mind. Akiteru  _ knows _ about this?  _ How _ does he know about it? Was-- Was  _ Tadashi _ one of his cases?..  _ Is Tadashi still one of Akiteru’s cases _ ? Fuck. 

Kei is about to curse again when Akiteru locks his phone, and hands Kei his own. When he looks at the screen, all he sees is an error 404 message. The video is gone. Thank god. 

“Kei, you can’t say anything about this, about what you just saw, to anyone. Tadashi can’t know you saw that. He doesn’t know about the videos, or the pictures, and he can’t know.” 

“But shouldn’t he-- wait,  _ pictures _ ?  _ Videos _ ? There’s more than just that  _ one _ ?” Kei was prepared to argue with his brother, even though he had no intentions of bringing anything of what happened up to Tadashi, lest he want to get himself murdered, but something in Akiteru’s words stops him. There’s  _ more _ ?

Akiteru looks like a deer caught in headlights when he says, “Y- Yes… Uh-- Tadashi was one of my cases-- “ called it, “--And I had to… Take photos and videos of him while undercover… I- I deleted all the copies I had and had our tech analyst comb through  _ every _ child porn site out there, but I-- I guess we missed some…” 

Kei stares at Akiteru incredulously. 

“K- Kei, Tadashi can’t know. All of the memories from then are covered up, under lock and key, and-- and bringing them up will just-- it’ll  _ break _ Tadashi…” 

“And letting him  _ forget part of his life _ is  _ good _ for him, somehow?” 

“Kei--” 

“Akiteru, he  _ deserves _ to know.”

“I  _ know _ !” Akiteru pleads with his eyes that Kei stay silent, and Kei’s angry resolve simmers when he sees the desperation in Akiteru’s eyes. “I know. But it-- It’s not the right time. He’s just getting his life back… And all those things, about his parents hitting him around, about him running away, are true-- he deserves to have a normal life, at least for now. Please, Kei.” 

Kei stare at Akiteru, at his desperate eyes, the tears forming in his eyes, and his resolve cracks. He shakes his head, not trusting his voice, and takes a step back. 

“Kei--” Before Akiteru can even finish his plea, Kei is in his and Tadashi’s bedroom, the door locked behind him. Tadashi  _ deserves _ to know. It’s-- It’s  _ his _ life,  _ he’s _ the victim here.  _ He should know.  _

Kei lets out a scream, muffled by his hand, and collapses on his bed.

The next day, Akiteru is gone to work by time Kei drags himself out of bed. Tadashi isn’t home yet either, and so Kei is alone, left to think. Always a dangerous thing.

He should tell Tadashi-- should. But Akiteru is right… Tadashi is just getting used to life with them, he finally has a chance to have a normal life, and telling him would… It would be like killing him. Striking off any potential he had, and ending his new life by telling him the past. _ But he deserves to know-- _

Kei groans, his head _ thunk _ ing on the desk in front of him. His thoughts had kept him up all night, and they’re not going to stop, either, not until he’s made a choice. 

A knock on the door startles Kei from his thoughts. “Ts- Tsukki? Are you in there?.. The door is locked.” 

“I-” Kei coughs when his voice cracks. “I’m in here, yeah, sorry.” 

“It’s ok,” Tadashi says, and Kei feels his heartbeat kick up, because he knows exactly what comes next. “Can-- Can I come in?” 

“I guess…” Kei mumbles, and stands, moving to the door to unlock it. Tadashi enters a moment later, and before he can step any farther into the room, Kei pulls him into his arms. Tadashi makes a startled noise, stiff in the hug. 

“...Tsukki?..” 

“I just…”  _ Tell him. _ “I need a hug right now, is all…” 

Tadashi sighs, relaxing in the hug, and moves his arms to wrap them around Kei. “Tsukki…” 

“I’m sorry for just…”

“It’s ok.” Tadashi rests his forehead against Kei’s shoulder, and smiles against it. “Take all the time you need.”

Kei feels guilt wash over him, but doesn’t open his mouth to tell him the truth. Only to whisper a  _ “Thank you,” _ does he speak, and Tadashi just holds him tighter, confused at his actions. “Thank you.”  _ I’m sorry. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many apologies. Just. All the apologies.


	16. Chapter 16

The next week brings yet another training camp, and yet another ambush by Bokuto and Kuroo. This time, however, they don’t jump Kei, but Tadashi. 

“Oi! Freckles! Block for us?” 

“Yeah! Block for us?” 

Tadashi bites his lip-- Kei usually complained about them, and warned him not to interact with them. He wonders if Kei is just exaggerating, or if he’s serious, and he feels he needs to find out himself. “I-- I don’t have a lot of time… Tsukki will probably be worried--”

“Tsukki’s asleep! We went to look for him, and he was knocked out in his futon--” 

“So please?” 

Tadashi looks down, feeling uncomfortable under the two intense gazes. “O- Ok… I- I guess…” 

Bokuto and Kuroo cheer, and hook their arms through Tadashi’s, dragging him towards the third gym. They’re standing across a net from each other soon enough, Tadashi jumping up and hardly reaching the spikes that Bokuto and Kuroo are hitting at him. 

“So--” Bokuto sends a spike just to the left of Tadashi’s block, and lands with a grin. “Tsukki. Huh?” 

Tadashi lands on his feet with a grunt, his breathing jagged. “What about Tsukki?” 

“Well, you like him, don’t you?” 

Tadashi’s heart stops. He blinks, his eyes widening. “M- Me? Like Ts-- Tsukki?” 

“Well, yeah,” Kuroo says, and Bokuto nods along. “It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it?” 

“Everyone sees it!” 

“E- Everyone?” There was no denying it now. 

“Well, yeah.” 

“I mean, you’re always with him, and you get this really sad look on your face when you’re not with him…” Bokuto puts his finger to his chin, thinking. “Come to think of it, Tsukki--” 

Tadashi doesn’t wait for Bokuto to finish. He runs out of the gym, his heart beating wildly in his chest. When he rounds the corner of the third gym, he’s breathing fast, and he knows that he’s not going to be able to calm down. He feels the edges of panic settling in his gut, feels sick to his stomach. Everyone knows? Does Kei know? Is that why Kei is so moody with him? Oh god. Tadashi feels bile rising in his chest when he feels soft hands rubbing at his back, and hears calming words pulling him from his panicked haze. 

“Calm down, it’s ok… It’s ok, breathe…” 

“E-- Ennoshita-san--” Tadashi gasps, and tries to breathe. Ennoshita’s hands rubbing calming circles in his upper back is doing wonders, for sure, but he still feels guilt eating him away. Everyone sees it. Everyone sees it. Even Kei, probably. He lives with him, damn it, he can’t ruin their relationship. He can’t. 

“It’s ok, breathe before you talk, I’m here. It’s ok.” Ennoshita’s voice is soft, and calming, his hand still rubbing incessant circles in his back, trying to loosen up his taught back muscles, pulled tight from stress. Tadashi feels himself relax under Ennoshita’s touch, and he’s glad not for the first time that they’re friends. His breathing finds a regular pace, and soon he’s slumped against the wall, wiping away tears he didn’t even know he was shedding. 

“Th- Thank you, Ennoshita-senpai…” Tadashi mumbles, and he really means it. “H- How did you find me?..” 

“I saw you running out of the gym on my way back to the main school building.” 

“O- Oh.” 

“So,” Ennoshita leans against the wall next to Tadashi, smiling a comforting smile. “Wanna tell me what’s up?”

Tadashi feels his heartbeat pick up again, and familiar guilt eats at his stomach angrily. “I-- I just… I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Tsukki, and-- if he knows…” Tadashi trails off, not being able to even bear the thought of finishing his sentence. 

“Why would you ruin your friendship with him?” Ennoshita seems genuinely confused. 

“W- Well… If he knows I like him, he’ll treat me--” 

“Wait, wait. Tsukishima?!” Tadashi’s cut off by Ennoshita’s laughter, and he frowns. “I’m so-- I’m sorry, just-- Tsukishima? Why?” 

Tadashi frowns even more. “B- Bokuto-san said...everyone knew… Did you not?..” 

“No,” Ennoshita chokes out between laughter, and Tadashi starts to feel ridiculous. If Ennoshita didn’t know, no one else probably did either, and Bokuto and Kuroo were just joking with him. It wouldn’t be a surprise. Maybe they just happened to make a lucky guess. “Seriously though-- Tsukishima?”

Tadashi flushes. “Y-- Yes…” 

“Why?” 

“I-- I don’t know… I just-- he’s nice, to me at least, when we’re alone, and he… He protects me… And every time our hands touch, I-- I feel all fluttery, and my heart beats, and I-- I don’t want to like him, I don’t want him to see me different, I don’t want him to be disgusted by me, I… Ennoshita-senpai, how do you stop liking someone?..” 

Ennoshita watches with wide eyes, speechless. “I… Don’t know?..” 

Tadashi groans, and slides down the wall. There’s silence for a moment, before Tadashi looks up to Ennoshita with wide eyes. “No one knows, do they?.. B- Bokuto-san said…” 

“No one knows, as far as I know…” 

Tadashi sighs in relief. “Good.” 

“So… confessing. Do you want to write him a letter, or--”

 

“I can’t confess!” 

Ennoshita blinks. “What?” 

“I can’t let him know.” 

“But… Why not?” 

Tadashi looks up at Ennoshita with desperate eyes, pleading with him to understand. “We’re best friends. It would be… Awkward.” 

“What’s a little awkward?” Ennoshita says with a smile. “Ryu and I were a little awkward when he confessed and I didn’t accept his feelings, but we’re perfectly normal now. In fact, I kind of fell for him after he confessed and we got together. So even if he doesn’t accept your feelings right away, there’s always the hope he realizes his feelings after!” 

“We live together, that would be unbearable, sleeping in the same room as him knowing he rejected me!” 

Ennoshita blinks, confused, not for the first time. “You… Live together.” 

Tadashi flushes pink, suddenly aware of what he’d said-- it’s probably not normal for friends to live together, leastways not in high school. “Y- Yeah… It’s a long story. But we-- we share a room, and I couldn’t bear the pain if he rejected me and I saw him every day before bed and when I wake up… Please don’t tell anyone, senpai.” 

“O- Of course…” Ennoshita says, and offers Tadashi a hand up, smiling when Tadashi takes it and doesn’t let go when he’s to his feet, holding his hand as a friendly gesture. “I won’t tell anyone.” 

“A- And you’re sure no one else knows?” 

“Nah. Bokuto-san probably just took a lucky guess trying to embarrass you; he seems like the type to want to rile people up as a friendly gesture. No worries.” 

Tadashi smiles, feeling relieved, and he walks hand-in-hand with Ennoshita back to the main building, exhausted. He knows that, despite Ennoshita telling him not to worry, he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff next chapter, so don't worry!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF CHAPTER FLUFF CHAPTER FLUFF CHAPTER

“I’m so tired! Training camp really knocks everything out of you…” 

“Yeah.” Kei’s sports bag falls onto the kitchen table, but Tadashi keeps his on his shoulders. A quick peek at the counter lets them know that Akiteru is gone once again, and they have the house to themselves. 

“I’m getting a lot better, I think! I-- I mean, I can at least r- receive a ball now,” Tadashi giggles, and shuffles his way awkwardly to the stairs. “I-- I think I’m going to hit the hay early. Good night--” 

“Hey, Yamaguchi… Wanna do something? I-- I don’t think I can get to sleep just yet…” 

Tadashi stares at Kei, confused, and cocks his head to the side. “L-- Like w-- what, Tsukki?” 

Kei, his face bright red, mutters as he fiddles with his hands, “I… I was wondering if… Well, we haven’t eaten yet, and there’s this new recipe I want to try… And I figured, you know, if you wanted… I wanted to know if you would… Help me make it. I don’t like cooking by myself.” 

Tadashi is still confused as he steps off the first stair and drops his bag on the table next to Kei’s. 

“S- Sure, I guess, Tsukki… N-- Now that you mention it, I am k-- kind of hungry…” 

“Cool.” Kei says, even though he’s screaming inside. 

This wasn’t his plan. He was supposed to say “good night, Yamaguchi,” and Tadashi would go to bed, and he would stay in the living room until he was positive Tadashi was asleep, so he could go to bed without worrying about his appearance as he stripped of his glasses and changed into pajamas-- just like every other night. Normal. Routine. But for some reason, Kei doesn’t want to see Tadashi off yet; Tadashi’s been avoiding him again, and he keeps stuttering, and god damn it, Kei is too invested in this boy. 

In his defense, he really did have a recipe he wanted to try-- but he actually preferred cooking alone, so he has more room and no one to consider, but he just had to open his stupid mouth. 

Tadashi leans on the counter, looking expectant, and Kei feels like a deer in headlights. 

“S-- So… What are we making?” 

Kei bites his lip. “Well-- It’s more a dessert, than a meal, so we should probably make something real for dinner before we… Make that.” 

“Ok?..” Tadashi’s furrowed brows are so adorable and Kei wants to die. He feels familiar guilt gnawing at his conscience, and he feels a pull to tell him, but he can’t. Instead, he goes to the cabinet and pulls out a box of instant rice. He turns to Tadashi, raises his eyebrows in question, and when Tadashi nods, goes to the stove and turns one of the burners on. 

He hears Tadashi shuffling behind him as he measures, pours, measures, pours water and rice into a pan, and turns only when Tadashi nudges his arm with a tupperware with some leftover chicken from the weekend in it. He nods, and Tadashi steps back, letting Kei cook. He’s not very good at cooking, himself, and figures he should leave Kei to it. 

Kei dumps the chicken in the pan, and they wait. When their dinner is done, they move to the living room and fall onto the couch, exhausted, and Kei flicks on the tv. “Anything you want to watch?” 

“No.” 

They settle on some rerun of some hospital show Kei’s mother used to watch, and warm nostalgia plays at Kei’s heart. 

They watch tv in silence, Kei finishing first, and waiting patiently as he watches Tadashi eat slowly. His mind drifts to all of the things Tadashi’s been through, and he doesn’t even pay attention to the tv anymore. Going from an abusive household, to missing two years of your life, to living with strangers and getting bullied, falling behind in classes, to right now, to quiet nights watching tv. He hopes Tadashi likes this life now. 

He’s so lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t even notice Tadashi’s finished his dinner. “--kki? Tsukki?.. Are you ready to make what it is you wanted to make?..” 

Kei feels his face flush, and coughs to clear his throat. “Uh-- Yeah. Yeah.” 

They make their way to the kitchen, loading their used dishes into the dishwasher. “So what are we making?” 

“Uh…” Kei runs through a mental checklist of ingredients he needs, and is grateful he went to the grocery store the day before. He flushes when he speaks, suddenly embarrassed of his sweet tooth. “Strawberry shortcake…” 

Tadashi grins, his smile nearly blinding Kei, and Kei flushes. “You like sweets, Tsukki?” 

“Sh- Shut up, Yamaguchi.” 

 

Tadashi giggles. “Sorry, Tsukki!” 

Kei just grumbles. “Let’s just get started…” 

fifteen minutes later has Kei pouting in the living room, having been kicked out when he kept getting in Tadashi’s way, while Tadashi puts the cake in the oven. He’s still pouting when Tadashi enters the living room and plops on the couch next to him. 

“Sorry for kicking you out, Tsukki…” 

“It’s fine,” Kei mumbles, not looking away from the horrible crime drama he’s watching. Truth be told, he’s not very good at baking-- it’s probably good that Tadashi took over. His next words slip from his mouth, embarrassingly, and he curses himself. “All my previous attempts at baking were all failures anyway, so it’s probably a good thing.” 

Tadashi giggles. “So Tsukki’s not good at something?” 

Kei grumbles. “Sh- Shut up, Yamaguchi.” 

Tadashi giggles and Yawns, leaning farther into the side on the couch, his eyes drifting shut. “Sorry, Tsukki…” 

Kei smiles fondly at Tadashi. A scream from the tv has them both jumping, and Tadashi’s eyes fly open, locking with Kei’s. There’s a brief second of silence before they both burst into laughter.

By the end of the episode Kei was watching, the cake is done, and they’re both eating it on the couch, watching the next episode, too invested in the show to stop now. 

When Kei finally turns away from the tv, Tadashi is asleep on the couch. He smiles, and stands, making his way to the closet and drawing out a blanket. He’d try to move Tadashi to bed if he wasn’t heavy with sleepiness as well, and so he just sits heavily on the couch, draping the blanket over the both of them and settles in. He slides off his glasses, balancing them precariously on the arm of the couch, and takes a glance over to Tadashi, asleep and curled in a ball. He looks peaceful. Calm. All of his anxieties are washed from his face, and Kei likes this look on him; he wishes he could see this look more. 

Kei drifts off to the sight of messy hair and freckles, and thoughts of stupid crushes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed because next chapter the shit resumes


	18. Chapter 18

Tadashi is in the room again. He’s in the room, and he can’t breathe, because he  _ knows _ what’s happening, and  _ fuck _ , he doesn’t want to go through this again. He’d had a good day, he  _ doesn’t need this, god, please, no _ \--

“Yamaguchi!”

Tadashi is startled awake by Kei hovering over him and shaking him, looking terrified. 

“Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi. Are-- Are you ok? You were crying…” 

“I--” Tadashi reaches up to wipe at his eyes, not in the least bit surprised when his fist is smeared with tears. “I just had a bad dream… I’m sorry for waking you, Tsukki…” 

Tadashi hears voices in the room and his eyes shift to the tv. They’d fallen asleep in the living room. 

“It’s fine.” Kei mumbles, looking at the clock across the room with squinted eyes. Tadashi realizes Kei doesn’t have his glasses on, and feels his face flush. “Do… You have bad dreams like this all the time?” 

This is a stupid question-- of course he does. They stay in the same room. Kei hears his whimpers from across the room, but usually he tries to ignore it. 

Tadashi looks down, guilty, and says, “I-- I have them sometimes, yeah…” 

“Do you want to talk about them?” 

“N- No…” 

“Ok.” Kei shifts, and before Tadashi knows it, Kei is laving on the couch next to him, holding his tight, and the blanket Tadashi didn’t know was covering him is drawn over the both of them. Tadashi lay still a moment, before relaxing and drifting off into a sweet, dream-filled sleep. He doesn’t have the dream again. 

Kei and Tadashi’s late night almost has them late for school; they miss morning practice, something Tadashi frets about but Kei doesn’t mind. Their morning classes go by in a sluggish manner, dragging on in the early to mid-morning hours, and both feel lunch should have been sooner than it was. 

“Damn. I forgot to pack a water with my lunch.” 

“Me too…” Tadashi yawns, covering his mouth as he stood. “I’ll go to the vending machines…”

Kei yawns, too, and he doesn’t even bother standing, even though they always go to the vending machine together. “Ok… Get me a milk?” 

“Strawberry?”

“Yeah.” 

“‘Kay…” Tadashi saunters off sluggishly, and Kei watches him go. 

It’s not a far walk to the vending machines from where they’re sitting today -- all you have to do it round a corner and you’re basically there -- but it’s enough to leave Tadashi out of sight from Kei, and it’s just his luck when he rounds the corner to see a familiar group of boys, the sight of them invoking immediate fear in him. He turns to walk back in the direction Kei is, but it’s too late, one of the boys sees him and they’re a far cry faster than himself, so he’s caught by the arm and dragged back towards the rowdy group with a yelp. 

“Yamaguchi! Hi!” 

“We didn’t think we’d get to see you for a while, what with you clinging to Tsukishima’s back and everything~” 

“I-- I’m not…” 

“'I’m not clinging to Tsukki’s back’, is that what you’re trying to say?” 

“I--” 

A swift kick to the back of his knees sends Tadashi to the ground, and he whimpers, curling in on himself. 

Tadashi says, pleading, “P- Please, I just want to get s- something to drink--” 

“Oh, there’s no need for that! Don’t worry!” 

“Yeah, you don’t need a drink, just talk with us! You’ll forget about getting a drink in a little bit~” Tadashi doesn’t respond, he’s too busy crying and struggling for breath because he thought this was over, and the boys don’t take to this well. He’s hauled up to his feet and slammed into the wall, his head rolling back at the sudden movement and hitting the hard brick. He hears a few curses at the ugly crack that seemingly resonates through the air, and feels somewhat better, knowing he’s effectively scared them. 

Of course, his victory is short lived, because a right hook to the face has the world spinning, and he can’t even hear the threats coming from the leader’s mouth (though, they’re probably something along the lines of “you’ll speak when spoken to,” or something to that measure, considering the circumstance). He doesn’t even hear it when something startles the boys and they dash, leaving Tadashi crumbled on the ground. He doesn’t hear Kei running up to him, and saying his name over and over as he pet his hair away from his face until two whole minutes later, and even then, his ears ring uncomfortably. 

“Tadashi,” Kei says, breathless, above the ringing in his ears. “Tadashi, are you ok? Damn it,  _ answer me _ \--”

“‘M fine, Tsukki, they-- they’ve done worse, and my dad’s done worse than that. I’m fine.” Tadashi tries to sit, but his head throbs and Kei holds him down; or, at least he thinks it’s Kei… It might be gravity… Darn gravity… 

“They--?” Kei curses, and slams a fist on the ground. “How long have they been picking on you since the first time?” 

Tadashi thinks back. “Well… Probably since the first training camp…” 

  
  
  


_ “Well… Probably since the first training camp…” _ Tadashi’s words fill Kei with rage, and betrayal. Since _ training camp? _ God, that was  _ months _ ago!  _ And Tadashi never told him-- _ why didn’t he _ tell him?  _

He’s been ignoring Tadashi ever since he’d run the bullies away. He can’t stop the guilt he feels when he thinks about Tadashi going through school with bullies, and not telling him. He feels like shit. He wants to hold Tadashi and tell him it’s ok, but he can’t; if he does, all his feelings might come out, he might ruin things by telling him about what  _ really _ happened while he was in that “battered woman’s home”, he just might _ ruin it _ . And he can’t let that happen.

Practice was easy, but now that they’re home-- it’s harder. Way harder. Kei feels familiar guilt eating him away, as well as the intense need to comfort Tadashi. 

Kei is in the living room doing homework, Tadashi in their room, and Kei is halfway done with his calculus homework when the atmosphere in the room changes and he looks up to find Tadashi in the doorway, chewing his lip and looking for something to say. 

“What, Yamaguchi?” 

Tadashi scoffs, and Kei almost expects a  _ “What, I’m  _ Yamaguchi _ now?? I was  _ Tadashi _ just earlier.” _

He doesn’t, though, but what he does get, however, is a “Ts- Tsukki... W- Why are you ignoring me?” 

“I’m not.” Kei says, not even looking up from his homework.

“You are!” Tadashi says, determined, and Kei’s head finally snaps up, surprised; Tadashi doesn’t usually raise his voice, it must have taken a lot of courage to do so.

“I’m not.” 

 

Tadashi frowns. “You’ve been ignoring me all day. You usually at least listen to me when I talk, even if you act like you don’t, and you weren’t today. I just want to know what I’ve done wrong.” 

 

“You didn’t.” 

 

“Then why are you ignoring me?!” 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting picked on again?!” 

 

Tadashi jumps, and Kei feels regret for raising his voice. 

 

“I didn’t want to be nuisance. You’re always protecting me, and I know you’re tired of it…” 

 

“I’m  _ not _ tired of it! I want you to be safe, and I don’t care if I have to save you from death itself every damn day! I love you, and I want to protect you!” 

 

Silence. Dead, dreadful silence. Tadashi blinks, frown on his face, and worrying his lip. 

“You--” 

“I-- I mean. I don’t-- I don’t love you. I-- I said it when you had me mad, I don’t mean it like that--” Kei feels panic settle in when tears prickle in Tadashi’s eyes, and he stands, his calculus book falling from his lap and onto the floor. “I need to go.” 

Kei rushes to the door, not even bothering to slide his coat on, and leaves. Breathing heavy, Kei falls against the door. He can hear Tadashi inside, loud wail ripping from his throat, panicked breathing and everything. Kei can’t breathe. He can’t breathe.  _ He just fucked everything up, he ruined their friendship, their relationship, he ruined everything--  _

Fuck. He needs to get away. 


	19. Chapter 19

Kei is in Tokyo. He doesn’t know when or how he’s decided it, but he’s here now, and he’s almost glad Kuroo-san told him where he lived, because he doesn’t know where else he could go. 

When Kei knocks someone whom he assumes is Kuroo’s father answers the door. “Is-- Is Kuro...senpai...here?” 

Kuroo’s father laughs a closed-eyed laugh, and Kei flushes. 

“Tetsurou’s next door at Kenma-kun’s house. The yellow one over there.” 

Kei follows the man’s finger, and thanks him, giving a small nod and a farewell before awkwardly shuffling his way to the Kozume household. This time when he knocks on the door, he expects another adult, but instead he finds Akaashi. 

Akaashi blinks at him. “Tsukishima-san?..” 

“Akaashi-senpai, hello.” Kei says, trying to play it cool. “Is-- Is Kuroo-san in?” 

“He… Is…” Akaashi steps aside. “May I ask why you’re here at ten pm?” 

“I-- I messed up…” 

Akaashi’s brows furrow. “What--?”

“Akaashi! What’s takin’ so long?! Who was at the door?!” Kei’s mood drops more than it already was when he hears Bokuto’s loud voice. 

“Tsukishima-san is here,” Akaashi calls back, and motions for Kei to follow him in the house. Bokuto and Kuroo meet them halfway and jump Kei, noogieing him and jostling him. Akaashi and Kozume look at them with stern frowns. 

“Tsukki! What brings you here?!” 

“Yeah, I mean, it’s a pleasant surprise, but we weren’t expecting you.” Kuroo smirks. “I mean, we’re hardly dressed for company.” 

“You’re hardly dressed at all.” Akaashi scoffs, and Kei takes a better look at them; he’s right, they’re hardly dressed. Low-slung sweatpants and tank tops. They’re coated in a slick coating of sweat Kei hadn’t noticed before and he really doesn’t want to know what they were doing before he’d gotten there. Akaashi and Kozumi look somewhat better, oversized sweaters and sweatpants, and they look so much more kempt than their boyfriends. 

Kuroo and Bokuto are quick to change the subject, turning to Kei with desperate, curious eyes. “So?” 

Kei looks at his socked feet. “I… I told Tadashi I love him.” 

“That’s great!” 

“Yeah! That’s awesome!” 

“I mean, it probably doesn’t warrant a  _ house visit _ , but we’re glad to see you anyway!” 

“Yeah! Now we can talk about how gorgeous and beautiful and pretty our b--”

“And then I ran away.” 

Bokuto and Kuroo stop in their tracks. “What?” 

Akaashi smiles fondly, and says, “Ah, Bokuto-san did much the same thing when he confessed to me that he liked Kenma.” 

“But this is different,” Kei all but yells, but he keeps his voice even for Kozume’s sake; he knows he’s much like Tadashi regarding raised voices. “This is different. We were fighting, and I told him I love him, and then I panicked and ran. I-- I left him alone.” 

“Duuudee.” 

“Dude.”

“You never leave them alone after a fight. That’s like--”

“Rule number one of having a significant other!”

Kei doesn’t even bother volleying between looking at Bokuto and Kuroo as they speak, sticking to staring at his feet, ashamed. He knows they’re right. He shouldn’t have left, and he definitely should not have come all the way to  _ Tokyo _ . He doesn’t need to be stupid to know that, but he obviously does if he did anyway. 

“I know…” Kei says. He thinks now of the sobs he’d heard on the other side of the door, of the choked breaths, and curses. He hadn’t realized it then, but that was definitely a panic attack. “Shit.” 

“What? What else did you do?” 

It’s not meant to be a goading question, Kei’s sure, but it makes him feel aggravated as he says, “I-- I made him have a panic attack…” 

“You what?!” 

“Dude, Tsukishima--” 

“You idiot.” Everyone’s heads whip to  Kozume, who hasn’t said a word the whole exchange; Kei actually forgotten he was here. “He’s more scared than you are. You  _ know _ he is. He’s scared that you’ll never come back, that you don’t really love him, and that shit  _ hurts _ .” 

“I-- I know--” 

“ _ Then go and apologize. _ ” Kozume looks terrifying, with a frown set on his face and a glare that could kill. “If he’s passed out from crying, wake him up and apologize. If he’s gone, find him. Just--” 

Kozume cuts off, looking frustrated, and he flushes, hiding his face in Akaashi’s chest. 

“I-- I should go…” 

“I think it’s best,” Akaashi says, rubbing Kozume’s back, “You need to apologize and clear things up. Your boyfriend needs--” 

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

There’s a beat of silence before Kuroo and Bokuto say, at the same time, “...What?” 

“I-- He’s not… We’re not dating.” 

“Bro.” 

“Broooo.” 

“That’s fucked.” 

“You confess to him during an argument and run away? Wow.” 

“That’s fucked.” 

“I know.” Kei runs a hand over his face. “I don’t even know why I’m here… I need to go…” 

“I’ll walk you to the door.” Akaashi hands Kozume off to Kuroo, and moves to lead Kei to the front door when Bokuto speaks up again. 

“Hey, Tsukki? Why didn’t you just go home after the fight and call us? I mean, we liked seeing you and all, but… Why didn’t you just go to your house?” 

Kei flushes, and grumbles, “We-- We live together…”

There’s another beat of silence. “What.”

Kei sighs. “Long story…” 

With this, Akaashi leads him to the door, leaving his boyfriends in the living room gaping at him. With a wish of good luck, Akaashi sends him off, and he makes to the train station, hoping he’ll be able to make the next train to Miyagi. 

It’s far too late when Kei arrives home, exhausted from the train ride, and he thanks any god that exists that Tadashi hadn’t locked him out. 

The house is dark, and Kei is panicking. He’s stepping into the living room when he’s startled by the light flicking on. 

“Ts-- Tsukki?..”

Kei lets out a breath, and turns, “Tadashi.” 

He takes Tadashi into a hug, and Tadashi stiffens in his hold. “Ts-- Tsukki--”

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Tadashi, please forgive me.  _ Please _ . I-- I like you, I wasn’t lying when I-- I like you  _ so much _ , I just don’t want to see you get hurt, and I was upset when I saw those guys picking on you, and I--  _ please _ forgive me.”

Tadashi is silent, stiff in his arms, and Kei can hear him sniffling into his chest. It vaguely occurs to him that Tadashi is crying, but his heart is racing so fast that he can’t breathe. 

“Tsukki, I--” Tadashi hiccups, and finally he hugs Kei back. Tight. “Tsukki, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you mad, I’m-- I’m s- sorry--” 

“Shut up and let me kiss you, Yamaguchi.” 

Kei doesn’t think Tadashi would actually agree, and he’s surprised when Tadashi whispers a soft, “Ok.” 

When Kei doesn’t right away, Tadashi pouts and pulls away from their hug to pull him by his collar to kiss him. It’s a bold move from Tadashi, but much appreciated, and gets Kei out of his stupor. Something screams in Kei’s mind, however, in the moment he’d thought he would enjoy, something that says  _ you’re kissing him when he’s been through so much, and he doesn’t know; you’re pathetic, you need to tell him-- if he finds out, he’ll think you’re taking advantage of him and dump you.  _ He does his best to ignore the voice, however, and kisses back, relief flooding his veins. 

They pull apart, both flushing deep red, and Kei bites his lip. “Have you gotten any sleep?”

Tadashi shakes his head, looking at his hands wrapped around Kei’s collar. 

“Let’s go to bed, ok? I’m tired. We can talk more in the morning.”

Tadashi nods, biting his lip nervously. “O- Ok… _"_

“Do you want to sleep in my bed?” Tadashi’s eyes widen, and Kei frowns. “We-- We aren’t going to do anything, I just… want to hold you.” 

“O-- Ok.” Tadashi relaxes, and sighs. They move to the stairs, holding hands, and to their room. Sliding into bed, Kei holds the covers up for Tadashi, who crawls in beside him. “G-- Good night, Tsukki…” 

“Good night, Yamaguchi.”

With a final kiss to Tadashi’s head, Kei slips into a dreamless sleep. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't updated in like four days and I usually update daily, whoops, I just got a kitten, I had behind the wheel the last couple day, and I've been stressed all week. So. Fighting off a migraine as I post this.

With a sigh, Tsukishima Akiteru enters his house, completely and utterly exhausted. This particular case had been hell. A sex ring, with a six year old in the middle of it… Horrible. 

 

When he enters the living room, he sees two figures sleeping on the couch, pressed together, and smiles. He shuts the still-playing tv off, and moves to the kitchen -- it’s still early, after all -- and starts up the coffee pot. He’s sure Kei will want some, when he wakes up; Tadashi’s more of a tea person, and he should make him some, but he doesn’t want to wake the two boys in the other room with the kettle. 

 

Akiteru is at the kitchen table, contemplating making toast for breakfast, when Kei stumbles in, blearily rubbing his eyes under his glasses. 

 

“Morning!” 

 

“Ugh,” Kei takes a cup out of the cupboard and pours himself coffee, plopping into a seat next to Akiteru at the table. “You’re back.” 

 

“Yeah…” Akiteru sighs, smiling. “I am--” 

 

“You need to tell Tadashi.” 

 

Akiteru’s face goes white. 

“Wh-- What? I-- I can’t, Kei, he--”

 

“He’s having nightmares about it. Every night for the last six months. I finally pried it out of him last night, and I-- he’s-- he said he saw you. He’s really scared, and you need to tell him. Please, Akiteru.” 

 

“Kei…” 

 

Kei leans back in his chair, and sips his coffee. “If you don’t, I will.” 

 

Akiteru’s eyes widen. “Kei, you wouldn’t--”

 

“You don’t think I would?” Kei sets his coffee down with raised eyebrows, and glares at Akiteru. “It’s been bothering me for  _ months _ now, and it’s affecting my  _ boyfriend _ , so if you don’t, I’ll be glad to tell him. I just figured, since this is your doing, you should be the one to tell him.” 

 

Akiteru’s mouth flounders, and he searches for words desperately. “K- Kei, I  _ told _ you, he-- he  _ can’t _ know, he-- it’ll hurt him more than--”

 

“It’s  _ already _ hurting him.” 

 

“ _ Kei-- _ ”

 

“ _ Akiteru _ .” Akiteru freezes at Kei’s tone, his face softening. “Please. I care about him.” 

 

“I…” Akiteru sighs. “I-- ok. I’ll tell him. But-- I need to find the right time.” 

 

Kei relaxes. “Good…” 

 

“Now, what is this I hear about Tadashi being your boyfriend?” 

 

Kei flushes red. “Nothing.”

 

“Are you sure?” Akiteru smirks. “Because, you know, I know you like him, and--”

 

“ _ Stop _ \--” 

 

“I just want to tell you to be sa--”

 

“I do  _ not _ need the sex talk from you, either.” Kei groans, and Akiteru laughs, his mood definitely improving. 

 

“Who need the sex talk?..” Tadashi enters the room with a sleepy looking smile, mid-yawn. 

“Nobody!” Kei and Akiteru rush immediately, and Tadashi laughs softly a moment before his eyes widen and he rushes to hug Akiteru. 

 

“Aki-nii! You’re home!” 

 

“I’m home!” 

 

“I missed you!” 

 

“I missed you too!” 

 

Akiteru pulls away from their hug and takes a good look at Tadashi-- he looks exhausted. His shoulders are slumped, and he’s got bags under his eyes. He’s smiling normally, but the light just isn’t in his eyes. Did these dreams really keep him up? 

 

“Tadashi, I… W- We need to talk.”

 

Tadashi stiffens, and bites his lip, frowning. “D- Did I do something wrong?..” 

 

“No! No, you didn’t do anything wrong, I-- there’s just something I need to tell you.” 

 

“There… There is?” 

 

Tadashi stands as though he’s ready to flee, and Akiteru pulls out a chair. 

 

“You should probably sit…” 

 

“I-- I should?..” Tadashi’s eyes widen, and he calmly sits down. 

 

“So, Tadashi…” Akiteru laughs nervously. “I want you to know before I speak, I was only trying to protect you. Ok?” 

 

“...Ok?..” 

 

Akiteru takes a breath. He’s not ready. “Tadashi, you weren’t in a car accident. You weren’t in a coma. You weren’t in a battered woman’s home. I lied. A lot.”    
  


Tadashi’s brows furrow. “Wh… What do you mean?..” 

 

“Two years ago, when you ran away…” Akiteru can’t breathe. “You were walking in the streets, and you were attacked and kidnapped by a human trafficking ring. You were auctioned off to a man who… Made child pornography. “ 

 

Tadashi looks breathless. “A-- Akiteru?.. What do you mean?..” 

 

“I work in the Miyagi sex crimes sector, and sometimes we need to go undercover to finish a case… I worked with the man that bought you, and… He-- He did things...with your body, and had...me t- take pictures…” 

 

Akiteru sees Tadashi’s breath hitch, and holds his own, terrified. 

 

“I-- I hated it, I didn’t want to do it, but it was a case, I was just doing what was best for you and the other boys, and I-- I… I’m sorry.” 

 

Tadashi is staring at him. Staring with unfocused eyes, glossy and horrified, his chest heaving. 

 

“Tadashi?..” 

 

“M-- My dreams were-- they were r- real?” Tadashi gasps, and his eyes find Kei with pleading in them. “Tsu--” 

 

“Kei didn’t know. Not until now. I-- I didn’t want him to carry such a burden…” 

 

Kei raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t get the time to ask the silent question before Tadashi starts stuttering again. 

 

“Th-- They were  _ real-- _ ” Tadashi gasps for breath, and Akiteru notices he’s swaying. “They were rea--” 

 

He collapses before either of them could say a word. 


	21. Chapter 21

When Tadashi wakes, he’s in the living room.  _ My dreams-- was all that just a dream? This is new…  _ Tadashi tries to sit, and a throbbing in the back of his head has him groaning, and Kei is at his side immediately. 

“You’re up.” 

“It wasn’t a dream, was it?..” 

He can practically hear Kei debating whether or not to tell the truth. “...No. It wasn’t.” 

“So… A-- Akiteru-kun?..” 

“Y-- Yeah…” 

Tadashi asks, nervous. “Wh-- Where is… Where is he?..” 

“The bar.” Kei says, sounding uninterested, and Tadashi’s eyes widen. “He’s not drinking, or anything, but it’d look kind of awkward if he were alone at a family restaurant, y’know?” 

“Y-- Yeah…” Tadashi nods, numb. “Yeah.” 

“Are…you ok?.."

Tadashi bites his lip. “N-- Not really…”

Kei pulls him in for a tight hug, and Tadashi cringes at the dull throbbing in his skull. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault…” 

“I know, but… I still feel sorry that I didn’t know…” 

“It’s ok, neither did I…” 

Tadashi’s mind wanders to the day he’d run away. He’d been free for four hours. Four hours, and then his mind goes blank. 

“I-- I shouldn’t have…” Tadashi stutters, biting his lip. “I shouldn’t have run away…” 

“You thought you were doing the best thing for you to do…” Kei says, his hand rubbing soft circles in his upper arm. “You’re safe here, at least.” 

“Yeah…” 

He finds Kei’s words comforting, and the soft hand on his arm feels warm and familiar, but his mind keeps chanting, in a mantra,  _ you shouldn’t have run away, you shouldn’t have run away, you shouldn’t have run away, you were sexually abused because you did, you were sexually abused and didn’t even know it, you idiot, you could have stood a few beatings-- _

“It-- It’s not your fault…” Tadashi startles, jumping, and his eyes lock with Kei’s. “I know what you’re thinking… It’s not your fault. You were in a toxic environment, so you left;  _ it’s not your fault  _ that there are creeps and perverts out there.” 

“I…” Tadashi gulps. “Thank you, Kei. But I don’t think you’re right.” 

Kei smiles softly, and sighs. “Ok.” 

Tadashi smiles softly at him. “Thank you for not trying to convince me otherwise.” 

“You’re stubborn. If you don’t believe something, you’re not going to change your mind.” 

Tadashi giggles wetly, and he suddenly realizes he’s crying. 

“I love you so much.” 

Kei looks surprised a moment, and then smiles. “I love you too.” 

“Can we call Akiteru-kun home?.. I want to apologize for passing out…” 

Kei chuckles. “Of course.” 

“And can we cuddle?” 

“...All three of us?” 

“Yeah.” 

“...I guess, since I love you.” 

Tadashi smiles. “Thank you, Tsukki!” 

So Kei calls Akiteru. He rushes home immediately, and apologizes for the nth time in the day, and pulls Tadashi into a tight hug.

“Tadashi, I’m so sorry, I should have told you--” 

“Aki-nii, let’s eat pizza and sit in our pajamas all day; I didn’t get much sleep last night…” 

Akiteru raises his eyebrows, and Kei makes a face. 

“Not for that reason, Nii-chan.” 

Akiteru raises his hand in surrender. “I wasn’t implying--” 

“Sure.” 

“I wasn’t!” 

“Guys! Can’t we get along for once?” 

“Sorry, Tadashi…” 

Tadashi smiles, pulls both Kei and Akiteru by the arms onto the couch, and pulls the blankets over their laps. 

It would take a long time to come to terms with everything he’d learned this morning, but he’d be able to, eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter leftttt


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So brings the end. This fic is like my baby, and now it's over. Ahhhh.

The cool September air is refreshing on Tadashi’s skin as he steps out of the Miyagi sex crimes office, the warm beer in his hand still unusual despite the fact that he’s been able to drink alcohol for almost four years already. With a sigh, Tadashi pulls out his phone, and dials Kei’s number; he’d be home from his night class by now, probably doing his homework. 

“Yo.” 

“Hey,” Tadashi giggles, smiling immediately as he hears Kei’s bored voice. “You’re home?” 

“Nearly,” Kei says, and Tadashi now hears the crunch of leaves life coming through the speaker. “My class ran late today, and I stayed back to ask the professor a question.” 

“Ah. Well, there’s some leftover Thai food in the fridge; it tastes better cold, in my opinion, but then again, it’s not like you have any choice. I broke the microwave this morning.”

“Again?” Kei groans, and Tadashi giggles. 

“I don’t mean to! I just get a little too excited for those hashbrown things you found at the store. I love them!” 

“I know you do, but it doesn’t warrant  _ starting a fire in the microwave _ .” 

”That was one time.” Tadashi pouts. He hears Kei’s keys clanking against their apartment door as he unlocks it. “And it was a  _ small _ fire!” 

“It was still a fire--” 

“Hey, Tadashi! Come on, you’re missing the party!” 

“C- Coming!” Tadashi smiles at Makoto, holding up a finger to signal “one minute” and turns away to finish his conversation. “I have to go; I’ll be home at, like, ten?”

Kei snickers in his ear. “You obviously have no idea how adult parties work.”  

“So mean, Kei-kun,” Tadashi pouts. 

“What are you going to do about it?” 

“I’ll show you when I get home.” 

He can practically hear Kei’s smirk. “You’d better.” 

Tadashi smiles, frowning when he hears Kei gag. 

“Thai food is disgusting cold.”

“It is not!” 

“It is.” Kei insists, and Tadashi smiles. “I’m going over to our hot neighbor’s apartment to microwave it.” 

“Without me?” 

“Yes. Now go-- you’re missing the party.” 

“Ok, Tsukki! I’ll see you when I get home.”

“Alright. Love you.” 

“Love you, too, Kei. Bye.”

“Bye.” 

“You two really love each other, don’t you?” Tadashi jumps, suddenly remembering Makoto was outside with him. His beer sloshes in its bottle, a little bit tipping over the rim and spilling onto his hand. Makoto is smiling at him softly. Tadashi smiles at him, casually trying to wipe the beer from his hand. 

“Y- Yeah...we do.” Tadashi says.

It took a long time to be able to say that, and to do and say all the things they were; when he was fifteen, he doesn’t think he’d be able to. 

“That’s good. I’m glad.” 

“I’m glad too.” 

“Oi! Shimada! Yamaguchi! Come on, speech time!” 

They both yell a quick “Coming!” before making their way inside, Tadashi idly sipping at his beer. He hears the whispers around the bullpen, speech speech speech, and clears his throat-- it’s his job to send off the old man, after all. 

“Hello everyone! I-- I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi, uh-- Akiteru-kun’s replacement. Sort of.” Tadashi laughs nervously, and there are soft smiles from everyone in the room. “So, uh… He’s actually leaving. After the eleven years he’s been working here, he’s  _ finally _ leaving; I bet some of you are happy.” 

There’s collective laughter at that, and Tanaka-san yells “I know I am!” 

“Today opens a new chapter for Akiteru-kun; and I know this sounds like a graduation speech, but I guess he’s graduating from here. Besides, I wasn’t valedictorian of my graduating class for nothing, speeches are  _ kind of _ my thing,” More laughter. “But the point is-- we’re proud of you, Akiteru.” 

Akiteru smiles wetly from where he sits at a table in the corner, and tries to wipe away tears. 

“And, to end this pretty awesome goodbye speech… Seven years ago, Akiteru-kun saved me from a life of sex work. I was in a constantly sedated state, and being used for child pornography.” The room is silent, now, and Akiteru isn’t even trying to hide his tears any more. “He saved me, and took me into his home, and because of him I’m here today, in front of you all. I thank him every day for that.

“But now it’s my turn to save people here, so you go and make us proud in Tokyo, ok?”

There’s a beat of silence before everyone claps, and Akiteru rushes up to hug him.

“Thank you, Tadashi.” He whispers. 

“You deserve it,” Tadashi says. “Now it’s your turn.” 

Akiteru’s face pales. “What.” 

Tadashi smirks. “You didn’t think I would do a speech all alone, did you?” 

“Tadashi,  _ no _ .” 

Tadashi laughs. 

“Everyone Akiteru’s going to make a speech!” 

“Speech! Speech!”

Akiteru coughs. “Alright, bitches, let’s get this shit started…” 

Tadashi smiles as everyone cheers, looking at his new family as Akiteru begins his speech. They’re all smiling and joking with one another. He thinks maybe he’ll like it here. 


End file.
